Can you like/date someone you're not attracted to?

I was wondering this for a while now after a friend mentioned that attraction is important in a relationship, and if you don't find them attractive it won't work.

Do you think you could date someone you're not initially attracted to? Would you give them a chance to get to know them? Is attraction REALLY important in the beginnings of a relationship?

theses are the questions people.Can you like/date someone you're not attracted to?

  • Nu-uh-uh not if there ain't fireworks
    Vote A
  • maaaaaybe?
    Vote B
  • Attraction can grow over time, so yea
    Vote C
  • They could have a great personality!
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching lens, physical attraction is very important to warrant further getting to know someone. That said, the other two types of attraction (intellectual and emotional) can make-up for it but it is difficult because, again, something has to make someone want to stay around someone that they don't know anything about.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I believe that attraction grows over time. It really depends on what you mean by attraction. Physical attraction or sexual attraction. Because Physical attraction is important to a very small degree, ONLY for the right reasons. I believe that you should only get married to somebody who you want and desire sex with, so that is important on the physical scale of your preference as long as it's reasonable. However, personality is key and so is compatibility in areas of morality, principles, etc. If you lack the things in common that matter to you such as what are your belief's in important areas, it won't matter how you feel about that person, or how attractive they are to you. It definitely won't work. It is your choice to be attracted to that person. And if you don't want to, then it won't happen.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 20

  • There has to be some kind of physical attraction for a relationship to go further than the first date. The person doesn't have to be handsome or pretty, just an attraction that you will know as soon as it hits. Usually you will know very quickly.

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    • What about an attraction to their character?

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    • I get what you're saying. Attraction obviously is key in wanting to be with a particular person otherwise there would be indifference. And those are some cool facts at the end! ) Not about the teenage boy thing, I already knew that lol.)

    • LMAO! Thank you!

  • If I'm not attracted to a woman at all, I won't date her. I simply believe that in a relationship both should find their partner at least somewhat physically attractive.

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  • Outside does matter, it's just the inside that matters more. Can't say I'm shallow for saying that, just facts.

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  • I would probably not doing that again. I've dated a person that I weren't attracted to and I thinks being attracted is the best. But the relationship didn't last long. The person I dated had a good appearance, but the smell and clothing style were a major turn off in addition to being clumsy.

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    • So other stuff comes into play instead of physical attraction huh. What makes someone attractive then?

    • Both appearance, smell, personality, charisma, voice, humor and style can make a person attractive or unattractive.

  • No. I deserve better than that, and that other person deserves better than to be with someone who is not attracted to them.

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    • True. But I've heard stories of solid, lasting relationships being built after sticking with it even if there was no initial attraction.

  • I've never understood how anyone can claim to do this. You have to have SOME attraction even if you're not wet just from looking at them.

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  • Nope, if I don't think she's pretty I won't consider dating her.

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  • It won't work if I'm not attracted. At some point sex is going to come up... and I might not, regardless of her personality. That would be awkward to explain.

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  • There has to be a physical attraction in order for me to date someone. I wouldn't just date someone that I wasn't attracted to.

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  • No, for me there has to be some initial physical attraction.

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  • no if im not attracted to her, then i just dont see how its going to work.

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  • Maybe

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  • Maybe, sometimes u just give them a chance

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  • You can try, but it won't last

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  • Yes Ofcourse why Not!
    If she's Good with you, Helps You in your Difficult situation, Always Supports You With Your Appropriate Decisions Etc.. then Why Not

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  • um nope

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  • Ya maybe

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  • doubt anything would happen

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  • I guess I could but I don't understand why anyone would do that.

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  • Not really, the only time that happens is when you know them as a friend for a long time and develop feelings for them but otherwise you need attraction

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    • I can see that happening

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    • Going for a girl you're not attracted to? if you don't mind me asking, how did both turn out?

    • Well they were nice as a person but there was almost no attraction and I still would look for good things about them but it just wasn't enough to keep me interested so I eventually ended it

What Girls Said 10

  • Yes I could if I liked his personality and my eyes wouldn't "vomit"when looking at him.
    This is what happened with my boyfriend, at first I didn't find him physically attractive but his looks was still tolerable for me. I liked his personality and he was very persistent, so I decided to give him a chance and we started dating, now we're a couple and I'm very happy that I decided to give him a chance, he is great boyfriend and my physical attraction started growing too :) <3

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  • Nope

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  • I have to be at least a little attracted to the guy, attraction does grow but if I really think the guy is not good looking at all, the answer is no.

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  • Yeah if I were really bored and lonely or they invited me for some really amazing date.

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  • No, i can't

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  • Then it would be going out as friends and attraction could arise going out as friends

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  • I met a guy who was not very photogenic but in person was very, very cute. I was attracted but we were both shy so we didn't have fireworks chemistry. It's been like a slow and growing into a wildfire. But it's nice. It feels steady. The attraction can grow, and not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

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  • I wasn't initially attracted to the guy I'm currently with when we first met and my attraction for him has grown over time.

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    • If it's ok with you, could you talk more about how it grew?

    • Well, I never thought he was ugly. I saw him as average. I think the closer I got to him the more attractive I saw him.

  • No I need to have a physical attraction too. Ivecdated a guy whobeveryone thought was ugly, but I couldn't see it myself.

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  • Nope.

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