Without seeming OTT, how do I tell him his behavior upsets me?


I don't want to come across as needy or crazy, but I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and his lack of effort over the last few weeks is starting to upset me. I'm at that stage where either he ups his game, or I walk away.

If he isn't that into me anymore, that's okay - I just want honesty. But I don't want to be pushy.

However, it annoys me, that I seem to do all the leg work. Reaching out, carrying conversations, the fact, I'm currently sick and he didn't bother to ask how I am. He says he'll call, but doesn't - during one call, he said he'd call me back, because he had to do something, then went to bed after - without letting me know. Its little things! But it feels disrespectful and uncaring.

Not just that, but I've started feeling like a dirty little secret. If his friends are near, he won't speak on the phone and his replies become short as in "yea" or "no". It's definitely not because I'm unattractive!!

I don't want to assume he's just being an ass, I'd like to have a conversation about it and actually see if there's a deeper reason or if he's just not feeling it.

I am not his girlfriend. So part of me feel I can't really make demands, but on the other hand, if he wants me in his life, he needs to put some effort into me.

How do I do this, without being pushy?


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  • men aren't psychic, and hints are for birthday gifts. if you want something, you have to tell him exactly what it is you want. closed mouths don't get fed (and, by 'fed', i mean your end goal).

    maybe start with, "it feels like something comes up every time you say you're going to call. is everything okay?" keeps the focus on your feelings and what you want, not on him.

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    • I'm aware they aren't psychic - hence why I've written I want to communicate with him about it.

      I've asked him straight up if he hides me from his friends out of embarrassment. I'm very honest and straightforward. I just don't want to be pushy.

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