Is she gone or just needs some time to process a tough week?

We've been dating for about a month and a half... talk on the phone everyday for 6 hours until 3am... been on 5 dates... made out, grabbed private parts, have amazing chemistry, etc.

But something happened this week.. maybe you guys can help me; At the beginning of the week, she admitted to me she LOVED ME. Then, she had a 30th birthday party (she was afraid of turning 30, saying she felt she was getting old), then we had a little argument over her bringing up her ex boyfriend (they do not speak and have been broken up for a year, she broke up with him), then she told me she failed a college exam. She works 2 jobs and goes to school full-time.

Then on Friday, I asked her out... she told me she had to think about it due to our argument. She eventually said no but she didn't want to stop talking to me, exactly. She said she was upset with what I said to her during the argument ("get over it, I don't want to hear about him anymore"). Problem is, we talked the day after the argument and everything she was coming back around, laughing, etc.

I noticed a change in her when she flunked that exam, though. She called to talk about it in a pretty good mood, but then had to hang up early to do extra credit for that class to try and bump up the failing grade.

Now, she's distant; won't respond to my texts or calls... but she won't tell me to leave her alone, either.
Update: My guess is she just had a bad week and needs some time: First, she admitted that she loved me, she was afraid of turning thirty and she did, we had a little argument over her talking about her ex, then she failed an exam.

Who knows what's going on, but my guess is that with working all the time and all of the above, she was overburdened and going through a lot. What do you think?


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What Girls Said 3

  • It does seem like she's been dealing a lot and she is only human, everyone has their limit to how much they can take. As for the ex, You haven't said the full story on that one but that doesn't matter, this is an issue you should talk about. You shouldn't have said what you did, if she feels comfortable talking to you about an ex you should let her. My boyfriend use to talk about his exes all the time, I didn't argue I just spoke to him about it and now he doesn't ever mention them... although there's probably nothing left to mention haha! Back to the general issue she may need time, just let her know you'll be there for her when she's ready to talk and leave the ball in her court. If it doesn't work out at least she can't say you didn't try :)

    • Great answer! On Friday when she turned me down for what would have been our 6th date, she said what I said to her really hurt her. I was thinking of giving her space today and tomorrow (no texting, calling, etc)... and maybe trying to message her on Tuesday? Does this seem like a good idea?

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    • Unfortunately not everyone would have told you to take a hike if that's how they felt. Everyone is different and for those who don't speak their mind may find it easier to ignore. See how it goes Tuesday and keep me updated :)

    • Update: I sent her flowers and a little teddy bear yesterday. She contacted me at 11:45pm (her making me wait, I suppose) and told me she named the teddy bear after an inside joke of ours... she also thanked me. Feels like she's warming back up. I'm not going to smother her and continue to give her some space... good idea?

  • Sounds like she's getting herself in order. I would let her know you're there for her but back away a little and see what happens. Best of luck to you

  • Might need some time


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