How can I recover from a broken heart?

I'm really sad, and I don't know how to get over this


Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have a history of anxiety and panic attacks. And when I was in the depth of it I slowly became depressed and concerned that it would never go away.

    But I learned a few things during this time.

    Becoming free of negative feelings doesn't come from fighting how we feel. We can't "get over" something painful when we're right in the middle of it.

    Instead it's actually easier to go "through" it. Accept it basically.

    Most of our inner suffering isn't from the tragedies of our lives. It's from how we interpret those traumas, and how we mentally relive them.

    The concept of "attachment" for example is something we're improperly taught in North America. Some where along the lines we're taught to embrace attachment. To our stuff. And to people. And to our desires. And to our goals.

    Attachment is what brings us suffering when we don't get what we desire, for example.

    An easy way to recognize if any of your pain is self-made is by listening to the words you say in your head. If you hear yourself using the word "should" then you're in trouble.

    If you believe something like "She SHOULD be with me." or "We SHOULD be together." then you're in trouble.

    When ever we think things "should" be a certain way we SHOULD all over ourselves. It's just a nonsense way of explain the world to ourselves, even when it denies reality.

    Reality is that when we love another person, and that person chooses to not love us back, that's okay. That's reality. Every person deserves to choose whom they chase or love or hate. There is no "should."

    This is a long ramble to say this...

    1) You're going to be okay, even if right now you're not.

    2) Don't waste time complaining to yourself how things "should be."

    3) Only allow yourself to ponder what went wrong on one weekend. And learn from what you remember... if there's things that you could do that make you a better man, learn them. If she's just crazy, recognize that too. Be honest about it. BUT ONLY DO THIS ONCE.

    Mulling over past traumas for more than a few days is just mental masterbation and it's gross.

    4) We FEEL what we THINK ABOUT. So give yourself permission to mourn the loss for a few nights, then stop it. Focus on what you want next, not what you can't have now.

    It's okay to LOVE someone without being with them. That's true love.. letting them go with love, and without attachment or resentment. That's growth.

    I hope this helps?

    ~ Robby

    (My Blog )

    • It does help, thank you, maybe you could write a mytake, a lot of people might benefit from your experience

    • I'm not sure I know what that is... is that a GAG story, or something? Thanks for the idea. :D

      If you're still struggling over time drop me a PM anytime. :D

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Time and maybe journaling your feelings can help. Being outside and going places helps a ton.

  • Yes you will but give it time I know what it's like

  • U will get over it.. just taking time


What Guys Said 4

  • the only way to move on is to never speak to the person again or look at her on social media.

    once you do that, you will be depressed for at least 6 months.

    the trick is too keep your mind busy, let your mind be depressed but once you keep yourself busy, your mind will heal.

    time heals, for now all you can do is break contact and keep yourself busy.

    this is the grieving process and it takes time but there are ways to fix it faster by keeping yourself busy.

  • damn thats a hard one. really it just takes time , and it can be a long time depending on how deep in you were. i took two years once, not the initial grief but til i was at the point where i could go a whole day and not think of her.
    another thing is if you hook up with someone hotter and thats a better person you will realise that they were actualy just a piece of shit and you deserve way better

  • TIME- it heals everything.

    Slowly, the feelings will fade away, dont just jump to dating other women.
    take time for yourself being single and then , try hooking up with other women.

  • Find a rebound girl.. nonon wait don;t do that
    Get some ice cream


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