Great friendship that turned to physical attraction just went down the tank and I have no clue why. Need a guy's perspective on this so anyone?

Known this guy for about 10 years but have been good friends for roughly 5. We drifted apart in between and reconnected about 3 years back and decided to start fresh. A bit of backstory as to why we drifted apart (as it might be important to some). We were really good friends and he constantly made it a point to tell me that I was one of his closest friends, and he absolutely loved me (as a friend of course). Thing is, he was an open book and close to the end of our friendship, he began to avoid questions that had anything to do with his personal life. He would always change the subject back to me and wanted to know everything that was going on, but I never got a response when it came to talking about him. He also left me hanging when we had set plans. Soon after, I found out he had a girlfriend and never bothered to tell me. I didn't even know he was dating! I was hurt because I figured as a "close friend" he could've just told me. He took it as me being jealous and said he was sorry but he only saw me as a friend and deleted me off his social media. A couple of years passed and he sent me a friend request followed by a DM. He said he missed me all those years and if we could basically start over, clean slate. I accepted. We picked up right where we left off, as if nothing had happened & I truly just saw him as a friend until he began to ask why we never got together. I reminded him what he said and his response was, "We're older and more mature now." He's quite the charmer and won me over after many months. Things have gotten hot and heavy but no sex. Recently he's been busy with work so I gave him space which he called me out on. He told me to never stop reaching out to him. The last few weeks though, he's been ignoring my msgs and here and there will send me a simple "Hi". Claims to be busy but continues to post on social media. Before anything, I told him I didn't want our friendship to be ruined again & he convinced me that it wouldn't. WTF!!!


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  • You are right, if he has time to be on social media, he has time to contact you. I sense history repeating... keep your guard up and do not give in to any sexual advances from him until he has proven he has changed and starts putting you before social media.

    • You're absolutely right about history repeating itself. I just hate that this is putting a strain on the friendship again. It could all be avoided if he was just honest about what's going on. As he mentioned, we're both adults, so why isn't one of us acting like it? Rhetorical question of course.

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