What makes a guy dateable, and what do you want to see?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The qualities I look for:
    -Focused/motivated/determined/ambitious
    -Smart/intelligent/have opinions on certain issues that he can support delicately
    -Random fun facts (Once a guy told me camels come from North America to Middle East in Ice Age. That was the sexiest thing I have ever heard.)
    -Caring, affectionate, empathetic.
    -Sarcastic sense of humor without being blunt and rude
    -Well-educated, good job, strong work ethics, integrity
    -Fun hobbies, open to adventours, traveling and new culture
    -Fit, active, not lazy sitting on his ass
    -Knows how to cook and eat healthy
    -Knows his boundaries how much to drink (I hate taking care of drunk people)
    -Dresses nicely, and clean (like clean shaven, clean clothing, regular shower, using deodorant etc.)
    -No daddy/mommy/sis/bro issues. Getting well with family

    I have even a longer list before I decide to date someone but you would say this list is the reason I have been single for awhile. And the bad thing is that the list gets longer when I get older.

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What Girls Said 28

  • Genuine, kind, shared interests, patient, and trustable. Also with my health and age as well as some of my prior work. I'd like them to stand up for me because frankly I've done it enough for others in my life. I do like a sense of humor but not mean humor and if they like pets. Also if they are take charge but not overly pushy or suffocatingly dominant because that is something else entirely.

    I'm kind of on a long break from relationships. Part of that is a reflection of what I've been through in the past 50 years. Which included a variety of unpleasant things. People insisting I not be myself and be what they want me to be. People trying to hurt, deceive, or use me. A person really gets tired of that sort of thing. It leaves you very cautious. It also doesn't exactly make you feel like your wantable. My appearance and health has changed in some not so nice ways because of abuse. Though some of it changed years ago from hazards of work I could come back from some pretty harsh things.

    When I was married before someone did it out of a scam. We went to court it was annulled. Another two people figured I'd just come around and be gay (I'm intersex). One hated women and was vocally nasty about them frequently. Another married me because we were dealing with a war and undercover together. That got annulled too. Two ex's left me then married each other because of politics of aging.(They started to look much older than me and wanted to raise the kids together) Another tried to marry me to make sure I couldn't testify against them. In the end I had been with several, had children, it ended, and only one marriage was legal and ended in divorce. Others were annulled. One of my first relationships ended not because we didn't love each other or because our marriage wasn't happy. We were young and their family member got sued in court over an improper business deal. Their revenge was to end our relationship. That one went on to marry someone else. I've also had them end because of health. They were dying or I was but then somehow survived. Usually after someone I'd worked with used some experimental orphan drug or procedure.

    So I am a bit jaded. I'm also old and more laid back. I don't drink, smoke, or even go to concerts anymore. I watch tv, go out to movies or to run chores, I maybe mix with people for coffee or the odd event.(proving the weather is good and I don't feel too tired/yucky) On a fixed income you can't afford to date or other things.

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    • I should also add I guess I have PTSD. Military, police, & emergency response work puts you in the line of many things. Especially if you're a specialist. I've been stabbed, shot, people have tried to blow me up, I've been in crashes & boats that sank, etc. Then add to it head games of being undercover on occasion. Then people wanting revenge for that. Followed by at one point having success in work which people wanted to use so would play with your heart and head for it.

      No matter what I find desirable in a man. I don't feel I am. I feel very uncomfortable if people show interest. I'm fine if they show some interest as a friend though at first I still have some anxiety or caution. Perhaps some of that I can blame on once having total memory loss and what happened to me as a result of a lasting brain injury. So I've just kind of resigned myself to singlehood. I don't want pity or anything like that. No matter my age I'm probably not the only one the feels like this.

  • Confidence. So easy to say and so easy to mess up, some guys are plan dicks because their ego is so big and some guys come off wrong because they try too hard to fake confidence. I think a guy who holds themselves well, treat others with respect, have opinions, go after what they want, have a plan - that's a dateable, sexy man. Looks barely matter, in my opinion, but that varies per person. But seriously. A guy who knows what he wants and is willing to work for it while treating others well is as sexy as it gets. Not only datable, but shit, I'd say yes if he proposed. I think other girls could probably agree.

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  • An old fashioned guy that knows how to treat a girl. A guy that knows basic etiquette and manners. Does not have to be perfect, but one who tries.

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  • Desirable qualities that I'd look for:
    - Motivated
    - Independant
    - Warm
    - Good sense of humour
    - Strong family values
    - Passionate about interests
    - Self confidence

    I've seen your shy below, I'd be impressed if you went out of your comfort zone to make an effort with me, being approached would be flattering because I know that it would take a lot of confidence to do so, being shy is fine but being quiet or socially awkward would be a problem for me.

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    • it'd take a lot for me to ask someone out honestly.

    • Show All
    • A dating app. If you could establish a connection with someone before meeting in person you wouldn't have that fear of rejection because the awkwardness would already be gone.

    • I think you may be right, I just have a reluctance to use one.

  • Deep understanding of each other
    Sweet and kind
    Respectful
    Honest
    Loyal
    Playful and funny is good
    Non materialistic
    Enjoys outdoors and travel
    Not loaded with money. Just too much crap comes with that usually. Like being at work 24/7 and loving their car.
    Loves their family and are loyal to them
    Intellectual compatability is nice
    Willing to court and romance. It's really simple and tips should be given.
    Not controlling. Equality.
    That's sounds good for today tomorrow I might have a different list.

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  • Reliable, with a sense of humour , and making an effort to get to know me as a person. I like him to be open and be honest about himself and his life too , so we can get to know each other on a deeper level

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  • An empathetic person. Something I'm impressed with and don't see often in this generation is a selfless person. Someone who is looking out for others instead of stuck in their own bubble worrying over their own problems and needs. That is a rare but beautiful trait.

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  • -sense of humor
    -good to me
    -good to strangers/retail workers
    -good to animals/isn't going to have to wash his hands b/c he touched a cat

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  • i can't say for all since everyone has there own preference but for me he should be,
    caring and loving
    respectful
    adventureous (ready for new things)
    smart
    loyal
    hard working
    who loves being with me
    understanding
    he should buy me ice cream every other day😋

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  • looking neat, taking care of his looks and of course personallity , some one with a heart and goals in his life

    but it depends from person to person, everyone is looking for something different in potential partners

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  • Power, protectiveness, being funny and adventurous, not being afraid of confrontation, assertive and at time aggressive, not having rejection phobia, incentive to initiate something new, being fatherly and being playful as I tend to get bored easily.

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  • a nice guy with a nice personality

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  • - Confidence
    - A good sense of humor
    - Respectful
    - Ambitious
    - Adventurous (I love trying out new things and doing something crazy like skydiving)
    - Takes care of himself
    - Chill/Relaxed and Calm

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  • Challenges, strong personality, smartass, funny (most of the time sarcastic), loyal, honest (no matter what is going on, just say it), respectful, had a shitty life before and want to start new one without too much stress, NON MATERIALISTIC and someone who actually talk about his/world problems.
    PS. Gamer 🙂❤ I mean, plays video games not with a heart. :)

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  • Someone with a genuine interest, and isn't self obsorbed

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  • Conversational, a good job, family values, intelligence, talent, social skills, sense of humor, opinionated, interested in me, at least average looks, good vocabulary, similar beliefs, clean, polite, offer to help, independent, dominant sexually.

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  • a guy that is very nice, can make me laugh, has similar dreams and values to me. Need to be at least some physical attraction for chemistry to work.

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  • honestly, dont try to conform to what people say you should do to be dateable or to be the perfect guy. just be yourself. girls want a guy that's real, not some guy who pretends all the time just to please other people. if you can let your walls down and be your true self around a girl, i think that's the most attractive thing. Just do what feels natural.

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  • Someone who is genuine, knows what they want in life, takes care of them self, protective, comforting, smart, respectful and a bit of physical chemistry.

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  • for me personally, a dateable guy is someone who is very open minded and non judgmental. obviously looks do effect your judgement on the character but I try not to focus on people's overall attractiveness and try to focus on their individual attractive qualities

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  • Someone who has a great sense of humor, sets goals is genuine, thoughtful and kind.

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  • I only date Dr. Who fans

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  • I love alpha traits. I appreciate when the boy has the balls yo make the first move and doesn't play games.

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  • Sense of humour
    Future goals
    Similar fashion sense
    Enjoying his company

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  • An equal attractiveness to mine or just a little behind and a very similar personality to mine.

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  • a great music taste.
    respectful to EVERYONE.
    mature.
    supportive.
    honest.
    hilarious.
    chill.
    intellectual.
    outgoing/adventurous.

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  • having a job, being loyal and treating your partner like a queen. Make sure you show that you love them. Make sure they never feel like they aren't loved!

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  • A guy who is romantic, sweet, caring, sensitive. Someone who is not vain. Respects everyone. Doesn't matter if he's shy or not.

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