Should I just go for older men even though I don't want to?

I'm 23 f and I've never had a boyfriend. I would LIKE a long term relationship as I don't want to lose my v-card to just anyone; I'd prefer it to be someone I care about. I also wouldn't mind dating that person and eventually marrying them if it leads to that (but of course, that's probably my lonely self talking).
The thing is that I don't really like older men. Every time I talk to them, they act really condescending and I barely have much in common with them. I pretty much still act really goofy and child-like (as in I spend my days laughing at stupid internet memes and watch stupid youtube videos). I also had really controlling parents growing up, and the idea of having some older man "take care of me" the rest of my life or acts really condescending towards me as my dad has all my life really makes me want to throw up a bit.

The thing is, I constantly read about men leaving their wives for younger women... men being totally obsessed with younger women, and apparently women are "supposed" to prefer older men for their stability and stuff. There's also the fact that a man 30+ would be more willing to date and marry me eventually whereas a guy around my age (23-27) may get bored after a while. You might say well what's the big deal, just find someone serious to date in a few years when the boyfriend your age dumps you? But by then, I'll be in my late 20s and it'll be super difficult to find a good guy around your age to date than my current age. At that point, I'll have to be looking for 40 year olds, and that's when men really start seeming "old" to me. It seems like I have a greater chance of scoring a "youngish" 30-something guy right now than later. Should I just force down my aversion to the whole thing and aim for the older age group?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its not a necessity. Age is just a number. what you need is patience... you can't control a vehicle (love) you dont have yet.
    I love the fact that you went im 23 f...
    signs of the online dater... you need to go out more and meet some people in your range lol...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • don't do anything unless you feel it's right girl! just wanting a relationship for the sake of it is never a good idea, it'll only lead to more issues down the line.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Never settle for what you don't like. I'm also a virgin, and I'm not rushing it, really. If I had sex, it'd be just because I want to, not because "the clock is ticking". As a woman, since you won't have erection problems when you get older, you have it even easier.

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  • No go after what your like. They are silly guys in your age range I'm one of them. I'm gonna be 26 and still look up funny memes and youtube videos­čśé so you'll find someone in your age range that won't get bored with you. Just keep trying-

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  • You should do what you want to do. My girlfriend is a year older than you. It is what it is, and we're happy. I think I look pretty good for my age, but that's me. Anyway, that's besides the point. Follow your instincts.

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  • If you think you are immature for your age, then I'd be careful dating older men as they may see your immaturity as a reason to not take the relationship seriously.

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  • Why make yourself miserable? If it's not what you want, why on earth would you do it? Don't forget, you're going to have to (unless you get a weird one or WANT the marriage to break up) have sex with this guy, probably several times.

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  • Never do anything you don't want to. Live life with no regrets! Don't force yourself to date older guy if you don't want to.

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  • You're settling for something less than what you want. This should be self explanatory.

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  • So, let me get this straight. You want to date someone that is closer to your own age but don't want to date someone who's older (in a few years) and you fear either way you'll end up single or not happy with an older man. Is that right? So, in other words, guys your age will get bored with you and you will get bored with older men.

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    • Well i wouldn't get "bored" necessarily, but I just don't like to deal with someone who treats me like an immature kid (which i am, but not fun to date someone like that haha)

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    • thanks for your response either way :)

    • You're welcome. Good luck.

  • That is your choice to do what you want but you did make a point and that is guys your age are immature and like you said they tend to lose interest after awhile whereas older guys like myself feel more lively and attracted to younger women coz they bring out our inner child and seem to make things we do together more fun, but that's my opinion

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    • Lol no I said that men tend to lose interest in women, and that I'M immature. :P

    • You are not immature at all and that you should try an date an older guy to see if you will like or not and some girls not all would rather date an older guy coz they seem to them that they more fun

    • i don't think I'm the kind of younger woman you'd like to be around. unless you like shitposting and laughing at stupid memes lol

  • Older men are nasty and only want sex.

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  • No offense, but you sound kind of immature so you may actually be better off finding a socially inept younger guy who is desperate for a relationship.

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  • No go after who you like. Im sure there are young single men who wouldn't mind holding off on sex. Christians come to mind.

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  • At your age yes... older men will be on your maturity level and treat you better.

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    • Lol some other fella said that... but my issue is that (no offense) I find that you guys treat me like a little kid/act condescending. whereas guys my age are often times respectful and don't denounce the things i say cuz they're no better than me. also little in common usually

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    • Im saying do what ever makes you happy. You dont have to date a older dude that like 10 years older than you or 15 years older... they can be just 3 or 4 years older... Thats not a huge difference in years but maturity wise it is... Your like thinking an older dude thats 15 years older lol... No not that at all and really that wouldn't matter anyways as long as you were happy together... but why even ask if you should date older guys if u already have your mind made up not to lol... your still young enjoy life enjoy partying enjoy all the things that come with the early 20s you only get to 1 time... and dont get to go back... But just like you know more now and are wiser now than when you were 13 you will be smarter and wiser when you are 30 as well...

      I am just giving you the best option for you... and anyone that has lived though their 20s will tell you prolly exactly the same thing... not cause guys like younger girls but because we lived though our 20s and have learned.

    • Good answer! thanks

  • Older man will treat you better

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    • How so? I know you think so as you're older, but like I said I find a lot of you guys condescending, and don't really have much in common -shrug-

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    • I'm 12 inches and thick

    • most women don't like dicks that big. you sound like a 12 year old porn addict in a 44 year old's body.

  • no. go after what you want

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  • Don't ever do anything that you're not fully comfortable with.

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  • no i dont think so to be honest im 18 male and I've never found anyone special

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  • you can find an older guy who is nice and kind and if you never had a boyfriend at least try one. they are less awkward in the bedroom and can please you a lot. this get complicated i think i need another subject, wish i could talk one on one about this because people have different feelings and i donot want to start an upheaval in comments lol

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What Girls Said 3

  • Honestly? Do what you want. You can't force yourself to be attracted to older men. Don't date them just because of a stereotype

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  • Silliest thing I've read here all day.

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  • If you don't want then don't.

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