How do you overcome jealousy?


1|1
1517

Most Helpful Guy

  • jealousy comes from insecurity , lack of self confidence , so develop those traits also look for someone with an unbiased opinion , to confirm whether it's really insecurity or you're being fooled

    0|0
    1|0
    • I agree but jealousy is just a feeling like any other feelings, its not insecurity if you have a bad gut feeling about it

    • Show All
    • @Goodnightcharlie yes it looks like its time to move on. I can't believe how much clarity I'm getting from this posting!

    • Jealousy or Trust issues? Is it you or him? Or both? You only know if he is giving good reason for your feelings. I have issues with trust because of past abuse and being screwed over by ever guy that came into my life. Does this mean I'm insecure with who I am and how I look. No I don't think so. Sure at times my self esteem might be low and cause some jealousy. Overall I'm a pretty confident and independent person. So my insecurities comes from something deeper than not liking who I am. Not sure if this could be your situation but here is a good article on trust.

      www.uncommonhelp.me/.../

Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on why and what you're jealous of. I feel like jealously is a normal emotion in moderation, I don't understand why people treat it like it's so awful to feel jealous. Is your boyfriend or husband giving you a reason to be jealous? Are you just jealous of random people? What exactly is the issue?

    2|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for the validation. I was very jealous because I felt that my guy show preferential treatment to this one particular girl who is pretty and friendly to him. Its almost like he has a crush talking in the same tone that he would to me. Asking if she's ok a lot (in a concern tone) or if she's stressed or if she needs a lift.
      I told him that I was jealous but he said its nothing and she's taken, but I can't shake the feeling. Then he started saying hurtful things and so now I am taking all the comments in and reassessing the situation.
      As much as I need to improve myself sometimes I also have to listen to my gut instints πŸ˜”

    • Show All
    • Yeah, I think it's fair to say he's using you when she isn't around and then giving half of his attention to her when she is. That would make anyone jealous, that doesn't seem to be your problem, it looks like it's his.

    • You don't know how relieved I am to read that last comment. I thought I was going mad and its all to do with my insecurities as he has been playing on them. I have had enough and am backing away now. He said that I am pushing him away with my jealousy issues but I am beginning to think I should have trusted my gut feelings from the very beginning. The signs were all there, the staring, impressing her and his defensiveness. I can't believe how much clarity I am getting from posting this one question last night!!!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • Faith. I have to believe that people come and go, change direction and follow their path. Those who are ment to be yours will be.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yup those who love me will stay πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

    • Show All
    • Is that on youtube I'll check it out thanks!

    • Madeas tree friendship wisdom

  • I don't get jealous. I'm too proud of myself to be jealous of others. Confidence and self esteem prevent/overcome jealousy.

    0|2
    0|0
    • I totally agree about the confidence and self esteem part, I wish I am like you

  • Unjustified jealousy is a confidence and insecurity issue. It takes a conscious effort for a long time to get past those issues, and even after the outright jealousy is taken care of, as in my case, insecurities will become obvious elsewhere.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I need to overcome my imsecurities that I am not good enough but its easier said than done!

    • Show All
    • Its already a bit too late. I don't know how to fix it anymore if I'm being honest. Part of me wonders if I did this unconciously on purpose to not get to close. And thanks everything you said it true

    • Absolutely welcome.

  • Trust is the opposite of jealousy I think

    0|0
    0|0
    • I do want to trust πŸ˜”

  • I can't. If i can turn it down fir real, it would mean i dont love them as much. If i realky love her, i can't help it, all i can do is pretend im not jealous

    1|0
    0|0
    • I know what you mean, its some sort of insecurities in us maybe!!!

    • Show All
    • Everyone gets jealous. It's just another one of those natural human emotions. Yet there is a level of healthy and unhealthy in all of them as well. You have to get to the root of the issue that is causing the unhealthy balance.

    • I think so too, jealousy just makes us human and pretending you don't care is a little bit like game playing. Especially it you try to hurt the person back because you're jealous - I rather be blunt and honest about it. I've seen his face changes when he is jealous too but he just never admits to it πŸ™„

  • I don't get jealous, unfortunately. I simply hate people who manipulate my situation. I'm not a forgiving person to those who spite me, and my Djinn may be a trickster, but he tells me many things that people wouldn't expect me to know.

    0|1
    0|0
  • By not letting it control you. Acknowledging it when it happens and analyze why it happens.

    Eventually, you don't really become as jealous often but you still will sometimes, it just depends on the situation

    0|0
    0|0
    • It doesn't control me, but I get so upset and its a self fulfilling prophecy

    • Show All
    • Thanks not sure what that is but I'll try

    • It's something that comes with time, it's a long road but there is no destination but with each step it gets easier

  • It is really hard but you can over come it! Analyze the reasons behind it in real time and keep doing it, be rational!
    For me it began to actually cause a bit of discomfort on my throat and chest, which was weird but it did go away after a couple- or a few months- later. Just try persevere!

    0|0
    0|0
    • Its been a while and I kept trying but it seems like I'm stuck. So I should analyse the reasons and counter them? But what if the other person is more interesting and prettier anyway?

    • Show All
    • I see
      Thanks let me do some research on this

    • It is worth knowing:) mental health is a real issue, hope you manage to sort it soon!

  • 0|0
    0|0
  • You overcome jealousy by coming over the jealousee.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Hey what does that mean?

  • A huge jar of nutella and some Doritos ;) works for me but

    0|1
    0|0
    • Hmm that will work for me too but not for my waistline

    • yeah that's the trade-off... get a hobby ;)

  • Moving on from it

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thats what I'm trying to do πŸ˜”

  • Don't allow it get to you , learn to ignore jealousy.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Ignore it how? I don't want to feel that way

    • Show All
    • Yeah it sounds what you need to do that i do agree.

    • You're very much welcome anytime you need help :) Glad to be able to help solve some things for you and Best wishes on things , hope they get better for you.

  • You have to learn to trust, this starts with working out why you have trouble trusting

    0|0
    0|0
  • Everyone is jealous of something. Just tell yourself it's not worth breaking your head over it.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yeah it is not worth it for sure. I hate feeling this way 😬

    • Yes, it does suck to gave uncontrollable feelings. But we need to practice it, and hopefully we can end up controlling most of it. 😊

  • love the bits gifted to you that make you special

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 14

  • From your responses about jealousy, it sounds like you may have abandonment issues.

    Unfortunately, if this is true, abandonment issues are hard to overcome. I think seeing a cognitive behavior therapist is a good suggestion and seemed to work for at least one poster here.

    Having abandonment issues and being in a relationship is not good since the person with abandonment issues tends to create the thing they fear most; their partner ends up leaving them and/or cheating on them.

    Here is a link about abandonment issues. You can check it out and see if it may apply to you. www.livestrong.com/.../

    Good luck.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yes being sent away to boarding school at 11+ years old doesn't help. In relationships I either get jealous & clingy or resign to the fact that I don't care. There's usually no middle ground for me.

    • Show All
    • PS: Saying this is his problem or he created your insecurities, is not the answer. Just saying...

    • I can't decide whether its me or him, so most probably we both have issues! I'll definitely look into this, thank you...

  • well I tend to think that it's all in my head and I should let it go but if it really bothers me I just ask about it and get it cleared out. I don't like being jealous so I try to escape that feeling as fast as possible. I don't like playing detective so better just ask up front

    0|0
    0|0
    • Hmm sometimes its not all in your head, there is a reason why you feel that way!

    • truth is my intuition was always right there was smth else I didn't know about but found out later on

    • Yes thats the message I'm gettimg here too that moderate jealousy is ok but listen to my own intuition

  • I think jealousy is natural if you truly care and like someone. I struggle with this with my friend, who always has other people on her for attention and that leaves me feeling excluded. But I don't act on the feeling cause I know I'll say/do something dumb or try to smother her with my friendship. I just give it time and if they were truly my friend, they'd stick around and i wouldn't have to be afraid of losing them to someone else.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Try not to think about it, and if that doesn't help then decide that you trust him and he isn't going anywhere. I have a close guy friend right now that I have feelings for and every time he mentions another girl or talks to another girl around me, I feel a pang of jealousy. I just hide it until the feeling passes ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Love

    0|0
    0|0
    • I thought thats what it is too but apparently it stems from codependency

  • Overcoming jealousy starts with having confidence in yourself. And learning to accept your insecurities. People who are jealous of others mostly have some insecurities.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I just don't get jealous in first place? hahaha
    no really , i always thing, if he is texting with this girl, oke in the end he is with me and he decided that he wants to be with me, so why even get jealous and spend my energy on that thing

    0|0
    0|0
    • But what if he shows signs of infatuation with another person? What would you do then..

    • probably talk to him and say what i think about it and see how it works out.
      I don't like to share, so at the end i think he may have to decide between both? I don't know, i never got that far.
      Or maybe talk and than first of all see what will happen and if he still likes me and yeah... moving on, I also don't like to waste my time with people who are obviously not that interessted with me
      or maybe it's just a phase and he is just doing it to boost his ego? i really don't know

    • I did and I only got hurtful accusation, I'm beginning to think its time to move on too

  • in my opinion realize that you also have a lot to offer in the relationship. and he/she wouldn't be with you if they didn't like you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yes I do have a lot to offer in a relationship. I think part of the reason I'm jealous is he tries to play on my selfconfidence a bit, indicating I'm not good enough. I never realised it before but talking to @raisingkanefromhell below I kind of see it now.
      Maybe he meant it as a joke who knows but I affects me.

    • Show All
    • Yeah the more replies I'm getting the more I'm seeing how he may be causing my insecurities and jealousy. This is good progress for me actually. Thank you!

    • no prob and best of luck :)

  • Start practicing self love and being grateful, when a person has these two things there is no room for jealousy.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I will try that and meditation

    • Show All
    • You are very welcome and I wish you the best :)
      There is a women named Angel Richardson on YouTube, she is a life coach and she offers some great tips and advise in her videos :)

    • Thanks I'l check her out on youtube today

  • Become a vampire in vampire dairies and turn your feelings off. There you go no jealousy no more

    0|0
    0|0
    • If I can turn off my feelings I would. It will be much easier hey ;)

    • I know right just an on and off switch would be nice

  • gain confidence in yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yes I am going to start believing in myself more. This thread is really helping me so thank you!

  • Don't compare yourself with others.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I keep reminding myself that everyday 😊

  • Jealous of what?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Jealous of his attention when I feel that his infatuated with somebody else, but sometimes its unjustified

    • She can have him. He's a fuck face.

    • Feeling the sisterly love thank you xxx

  • Think highly of yourself. I never get jealous because ik im beautiful in my own way, u do the same.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for the kind words :)

    • Show All
    • Welcome, it is the truth for you too. I just fix myself, take care of myself, selfies lol, and just dont compare yourself to others. Just remember that you're beautiful and unique in your own kind of way. You dont have to be like her to be beautiful.

    • Its so easy to get carried away with negative feelings sometimes. I'll be more positive about myself 😊

Loading...