Asked to sleep over, just to sleep... WTF?

I'm not normally this stumped by things like this or pining over dating anymore. I've been hardened by letdowns so I keep my expectations low, but this guy genuinely leaves me scratching my head. We went out with a few friends and had been casually flirting throughout the night, but just friendly it wasn't my goal for sure. We already know we are attracted to each other, but nothing ever took off. He's passive and kind of shy, doesn't seem like a risk taker. I am prideful and need clarity to make a move.

Fast forward to the night coming to an end amongst our group, we were the last two heading out. While I'm mid sentence about something he asks me if I want to come over and hang out. I say yes and he kisses me (finally) then clarifies that he wasn't trying to make a move or do anything else and that he just wants me over to sleep, "if thats okay". Nothing else, but just hang out and sleep (literally) together. I say yes, but confused as heck and expecting that to be a definite lie. We get to his place and it turns out it isn't a lie. We chat a bit, kiss a bit, and go to bed where he cuddles me, kisses me again gently, and SLEEP. In the middle of the night I initiate more than just sleep, but if it weren't for me I think we would just continued laying there with each other. I guess its intimate and cute if you're into romantic sentimental stuff, but it confused the heck out of me. Keep in mind our previous conversation just ended with no reply or very delayed response to the point where I thought I got the hint and vibe of this dude; not really interested, but curious enough to not cut ties completely. So thats why I thought the light flirting and invitation was obviously just a hookup kind of thing.

What the heck should I do, if anything? Is it common for someone to invite you over just to sleep without intending on hooking up? What the hell does that mean? Also don't say he likes me unless you can back it because dude SUCKS at responding to casual conversations


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, cease to continue to read my opinion if it's because of my age. It looks like this guy is socially awkward and very much inexperienced with women, but knows how to casually flirt. He has no experience with sex at all, so because of his inability to take the hint of wanting to take an attractive girl go him home while also being able to get you there, he's not going to know what to do, or anything that you'd want to happen. Many guys like him hesitate to get intimate because they also don't know if it's OK to sexually touch you, like you wanted. He may be feeling that his reputation may be ruined for possibly sexually assaulting a girl, and he's only thinking this because he doesn't know how to read desirous signs. Don't take this too hard though, he still does like you, but just remember.. he wouldn't know what to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • So women complain that guys are in it for sex... and when they aren't, women get offended...

    And people wonder why guys get pissed with us.

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    • Try not to generalize and other me. I'm not complaining about boys wanting just sex. You're projecting instead of reading. If you could read, you'd see I'm most confused because if he were interested in more he'd try to keep a conversation, wouldn't he?

    • Well asker, what have you done to keep his interest? Have you ever expressed interest in him? Why don't you initiate?

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What Guys Said 5

  • i am surprised that you took the initiative otherwise that type of guy wouldn't have got laid even after having a girl in his bed. 😂😂😂😂

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  • That's pretty weird. Maybe he's got some strange ideas that nice guys don't have sex. Doesn't sound like a promising start to a relationship. If he's all that, you can probably change his mind.

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  • He probably heard so many women complaining about how guys only want sex that he wanted to prove he was different.

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  • he's just socially awkward, he ll open up don't worry.

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  • I am very much sure he wanted to hook up but like you said he is shy so Maybe he didn't make a move

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yea like you said he could just be bad at reciprocating those type of things lol im sure he has feelings if he wanted you in his bed to just sleep lol, at least that built trust kinda he goes by his word

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