How dumb am I for not dating this girl?

I've resisted dating my best friend for about a year and a half. She's in love with me and has wanted to be with me. We're best friends and have done everything together, including being sexual partners. She graduated a year ahead of me, and we still saw each other over the summer and I happened to intern in the same city she lived over the fall, so we saw each other every weekend.

I haven't been able to commit. I think it's because I haven't had many women in my life and wanted that. Like I wanted to not settle down. She started dating this guy two weeks ago and it really bothered me. I missed her so much and couldn't stop envisioning them having sex. A few days ago the guy called it off. Since then this girl has said she wants to avoid the physical and emotion part of the friendship to avoid getting attached to me again.

I'm starting to have regrets. Should I go for it and date her? I'm afraid if I don't I'll have missed my chance for good. I also worry if I don't I'll never find what I'm looking for anyway, and I don't know exactly what that is. Our relationship is exactly like Love, Rosie, if you've seen that movie. But I still have it in the back of my mind that there might be something better out there.

I need some help


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Apparently you werent listening. She's not interested anymore. You squandered your chance. Let her go and don't make the same mistake with the next girl you like who's interested.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is always the possibility of there being something better over the next hill. When you fall in love, you won't care about that. If you don't try this, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Go for it!

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Very.

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  • your reasons for not wanting to date were entirely selfish. you've missed your chance a long time ago.

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What Guys Said 4

  • If you really want something... Then you will try hard to get it.. so if u really want her then u will try hard to get her. But based on the past that you two have had and you not being able to commit to her... If she turns out to be uninterested now... Then just accept that bc she has a reason to be.

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  • I would encourage a serious sit-down discussion with her. The attraction is either there or it isn't. You cannot negotiate attraction, desire, or passion.

    Also know that there is no ONE. There are many compatible suitors for a good relationship or potential mate. The dating process is to allow you time to get to know them and to make that determination. Consider dating a lot of different women, it will leave you options so you're not desperate. Women see through that like sharks to blood.

    This article might be worth a read for you: illimitablemen.com/.../

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  • Dude, you lost your chance. Now you just have to find another woman. She has been after you for 1 1/2 years! That's a lot! She moved on. You didn't.
    It's the truth ;(

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  • Go for it! It seems you are both miserable without each other. I think you have the best for you staring you right in the face.

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