I went on a first date with a great guy. We spent hours at a restaurant talking and laughing and we had a great time together. The thing is I wasn't attracted to him to the point to where I would say I'm attracted to him (if that makes any sense). I wasn't UNattracted to him... I was more indifferent. It felt like I was hanging out with a friend. We want to see each other again. I'm nervous that my attraction for him won't increase because I would like to make this work. He's a great guy. Do you have any advice? I would like our second date to be something where I could see how I feel being closer to him. Like maybe a movie where I can see what it would feel like to rest my head on his shoulder or hold his hand. I would like to see if physical touch from him makes me uncomfortable or turns me on. Then I would know if I'm attracted to him. Any ideas for date ideas that would help with that? Don't tell me to hook up with him.
Most Helpful Guy
I know this girl who's a little stuck up. You ever watch the Fresh Prince of Bell-Air? She's a little like Hillary.
She's very into this guy who she knows people expect her to see him as beneath her. This guy who gets girls left and right and looks great, he flirts around, he's a little messy. He doesn't care about school and stuff. It's hard to explain, but he's just not the guy who fits the traditional "husband material" guy.
But he has a soft spot for her and he understands her better than anyone else. And even though she would never admit it to anyone, including herself, she feels comfortable and accepted around him. She probably even relates to him.
Well just when she was about to give in she started dating some other guy. He had a good job even though he was in school, he got great grades and all the other bullshit your supposed to care about. But this girl wasn't happy with this dude. I mean you look at her smiling around him and you can see she's trying to hard not just to look happy, but to be happy. To convince people she was happy with this guy. She had a lot of people sold, but I don't think she ever got herself to believe it.
I imagine that girl felt really similar to you while she was dating that guy.
Sometimes we have a hard time knowing what we want because we don't understand what we want. Give this guy a chance, but you gotta ask yourself what it is you really want out of a guy and be careful the answer is what you want and not what you were told you should want.1
Most Helpful Girl
yeah a movie at one of your homes where you can be comfortable on a sofa could work. Maybe offer to cook dinner? I think its important to not put pressures on yourself to TRY and like or be attracted to someone. You just have to let it flow and be honest with yourself and him about your feelings. Don't be worried that you were indifferent on the first date either.2