What causes people to have commitment issues / "phobias" in the first place? (Mainly men)?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Desire for variety, and variety isn't just sex. Every girl I've been with represented a different kind of adventure. Each girl broadened my interests, made me appreciate new things, new types of music, new types of food, different types of dates, different conversations.

    It takes a truly exceptional kind of girl to want to sacrifice and retire from those adventures, of "traveling the world", so to speak, and decide to settle down in one place for the rest of your life.

    I found that with my wife, but I definitely had commitment phobia for a great while. The only time I didn't have commitment phobia before that was with my first girlfriend, but that was the result of inexperience and just thinking she was so amazing for the sheer reason that she was my first. It's easy to think a girl is your "one and only" if she literally is, at that point, your one and only.

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    • In my case every girl completely broadened my horizons.

      A black girl introduced me to all kinds of American country and soul type of food that I loved. A Korean girl got to finally like kimchi (I used to hate it). I dated a girl who worked at a clothing store and wanted to become a fashion designer who helped me find my favorite style of clothing. I dated a Japanese girl who got me into Sex Pistols and gangster films. A French girl got me into French cuisine and fancy 7-course meals (I also tried snails for the first time along with foie gras and surprisingly loved both). I dated an older woman early on who flat out told me I was kind of "meh" in the bedroom and got me to step things up, gave me a dose of humility there. I dated another who got me more into fitness. The list goes on and on.

      It's hard to sacrifice all that. It's not easy. I had to find a girl who seemed so exceptional and leagues above the rest to make me want to retire from all that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend is against marriage after seeing his parents marriage break down when he was 10. I imagine situations like that can contribute to commitment issues and such.

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What Guys Said 4

  • A whole host of things can cause trust and abandonment issues. How a person was raised, how they socialized, how they were treated at school, how they treated others, etc.

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  • Traumatic experiences.

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  • past relationships usually

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  • You call it a commitment issue, I call it a commitment solution.
    Commitment just doesn't make sense.
    I wanna do whatever and who ever i wanna do whenever i wanna do it. Nag free only worrying about myself, not compromising or sacrificing anything for any one.

    How did i get this way?
    I commited myself to a woman once and ill die before i go back.

    There is no honor in the way a woman wages war

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What Girls Said 0

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