So I'm in the process of planning a "Girls Trip" to Vegas to celebrate my 21st Birthday. I'm covering it all for myself and my 3 friends (I have friends/connections in Vegas and airlines so I was able to cover everyone), they just pay for food and any shows we go to. We've been talking about this for months and they're all super excited!
But now they've decided that they'd all like to bring their boyfriends. I don't know what makes girls like this but it seems they can't bear to be without them for 4 days or something. They said the boyfriends would pay for themselves but I told them that this was my Birthday trip and it was supposed to be a "Girls trip" so I don't want them to. PLUS the fact that I'm the only single one at this point out of the 4 of us and I'm not about to be 3rd wheel x3 on my own Birthday trip. But now they're getting all mad at me for it. They think I'm totally wrong/selfish not letting their boyfriends come along.
I think it's ridiculous that they're getting mad over this, but I'm not sure what to do. Any advice?
Most Helpful Guy
From a relationship coaching lens, here are my thoughts:
1) There's nothing selfish about wanting a girls trip. For starters, it's your Birthday. For seconds, this has been your plan from the beginning. It's not as though you changed your mind halfway through.
2) I would approach the conversation, with them, from a presumptive communication lens. Meaning, speak to their understanding side. Something like: "I am really excited about my 21st Birthday and there's no one I'd rather be spending it with then you all. I know you have asked to bring your boyfriends but I'd really just like it to be us girls. I need this time with you all. I appreciate your understanding." You see how you didn't ask? You said, "I appreciate your understanding" as if to assume that they're going to agree to go solo.
3) If they do not, if they still push it, I think you have a bigger issue. They are supposed to be your friends and friends support one another. 21st Birthdays are not little deals and they should be sensitive to the '3rd wheel' perception as well.4
Most Helpful Girl
It's your birthday. That means you can be as SELFISH as you WANT. It's your day and I think your friends are the ones who are being unreasonable. You wanted a girl's night yet they keep pressuring you to let their boyfriends come long. It's your own party and your own rules and they should respect it.
Personally speaking, I don't give a shit about celebrating my birthday, but I can understand that for some people, it's a big deal.0