Is wrong if you let a guy pay during all the dates?

For example, if he makes way more money than you and if he is the one taking you to expensive places?
I am dating a guy and of course I like him and I always offer to pay but he never let me so i am thinking about just stop offering to pay and just enjoy.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching lens, there are a couple of factors here:
    1) Do you at least offer? Which you already said yes to.
    2) Is there an income disparity AND does he take you to places that would be reasonably outside of your price range? Which you already said yes to.
    3) Do you like him beyond the money? Which you already said yes to.
    4) Do you thank him when he pays? You didn't state this but I assume/trust that you do?

    Soooooo, sit back and enjoy. Just don't take it for granted (which I know you don't). You're good! :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't like doing that. I have dignity.

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    • I do not see your point.

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    • I don't know you, I have no idea what you think :P

    • @hahanoway of course you do not.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • i wouldn't stop offering... here is a good video on this subject!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM

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  • I think it's nice for you to try to contribute to show you're interested and care given you've been dating a while.

    He's got more money and taking you to expensive places (that may well be beyond your real price range). Let him.

    What you should do is invite him to something cheaper, but nice. It can even be a walk and a coffee or whatever, or some little place. Basically you plan a date, in your price range, and pay for it. That shows you aren't just trying to use him. But you don't need to spend what he does, essentially he's treating you to his lifestyle, you treat him to yours, the intent matters.

    And if he protests when you pay for him, say you asked him. And if he protests more, ask him if his mother warned him that if girls paid for him, they'd have -expectations- and might try to get in his pants?

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  • Let him pay, but do not stop offering or paying for things once in a while. But don't feel bad if he keeps on paying. Some guys are happy because of that

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  • well I think if he's choosing the place then he should pay and if you choose then you both should split it. that's just me though

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  • No. I don't let my date pay, ever

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  • You offering him is fine, at least he knows you are not treating him as if he is your slave and he owes you meals. You did good.

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  • In cases of major wealth disparity I think it's fine. Otherwise I think it should be split.

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  • Meh I don't think it's great but it could be worse

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  • Nah, it's not.

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  • No, not wrong. I'm paying for everything in my relationship and my girlfriend enjoys it a lot. My advice: Stop offering to pay and just enjoy it. :)

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What Girls Said 18

  • No, but I personally wouldn't let a guy do that.

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  • No. There is nothing wrong with that if that is how he wants to date and treat you. If he doesn't want you paying then stop asking. It will make it seem like your insecure. I understand the feeling even though I've never dated, but when go out to places with people of they want to get you something, I always freeze up and panic and tell them not to. However, he is not doing this to intentionally trap you or hurt you. He's doing this from his heart. To be honest, this is usually the only way to know if a person truly likes you. It's not like your demanding him. He's doing this on his own accord. And besides, even if you didn't have money issues, you at least offered.

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  • If you offer and he refuses and decides to just pay for all of it himself, then no, there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone has different ideas of how dating should work and who should pay which just seems way too complicated. You've been polite by offering but if he always says 'no' and still pays then that is his decision and it's not wrong if that's what works for both of you.

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  • I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all! Generally in situations like this I'll find a way to either pick up something (i. e round of drinks or desert) or go out of my way to do something thoughtful to show appreciation. Enjoy!

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  • I don't think it's wrong or right. But if it were me, I'd at least take him out on dates I could afford and pay offer to pay it. I wouldn't feel too get just getting him to pay all the time. I don't want to the only one recieving, I'd be in a relationship to share what I have, feeling or money matters.

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  • my boyfriend is like that. so i try to find other ways to be nice to him, I'm big on random gifts. enjoy it girl

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  • I'd definitely keep offering to pay, but with the income disparity, I wouldn't worry too much about it

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  • No - if a guy wants to pay - let him pay - it makes him happy and it makes you happy too.

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  • I don't think it's wrong. I've been in that situation. I made little money and he made substantially more. He always wanted to go out and I had no money. I always thanked him

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  • He is just being a gentlemen. If it really bothers you then make a deal with him saying next time YOU will pay. Women can be nice too!

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  • I'm in the same situation as you right now! haha

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  • It's alright. I agree with you.

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  • the guy should always pay in my opinion. definitely if he asked you out.

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  • No, that's exactly as it should be. Even if the situation was reversed and you were the breadwinner and taking him to expensive places, he should still always pay.

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  • No, it's not.

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  • No, it's not.

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  • I wouldn't necessary sit back, enjoy and just let someone pay all of the time. You could instead offer to take him for desert, snacks, cook something for him, drinks, ice cream etc. and pay for those things instead. If he wants to go to nice places and you don't make as much money as him, he shouldn't expect you to pay but you can do other things to show him that you appreciate him paying.

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    • dessert* not desert, don't take him to the desert lol

  • well, if he's insisting and he's got the money to spend, I see no reason not to take advantage. however, just letting him do it can seen a bit messed up, so every now and then insist on paying

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