Is there really such a thing called "being out of someone's league"?

Who decides it? Can't a guy/girl be "out of league" of another girl/guy but might hit it off with someone who is considered much more "high-value"?


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What Girls Said 4

  • No I think it's stupid. Just because other people think you should be with someone different, doesn't mean you should.

  • Nope. As life has gone on I have seen people deemed ugly marrying the world's most beautiful women. It's not all about looks - they aren't gonnakeep you entertained when you're retired.

    • Looks don't matter much in case of men. But there is social hierarchy, especially in college environments. Boy I'm so glad I graduated.

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    • Yeah and girls don't really care much about looks

    • Though if I don't want to be kissing the person that's a sign of no attraction haha

  • No one is truly “out of my league,” and here’s why, the problem is, when we say that someone is “out of our league,” we begin believing it. I used to say that guys were out of my league all the time.
    “He’s too handsome and I’m so average.”

    Even when the situation doesn’t apply to ourselves, we apply the method of thinking that people are grouped into leagues.

    Compatibility isn’t founded purely on how attractive you and your partner are in respect to each other; that’s the number one aspect of League Theory that we seem to succumb to unknowingly. Beautiful people aren’t beautiful based solely on how they look, but more so on who they are.
    So NO... I don't believe in this League thingy anymore <3</a>

    • This league thing can be applicable in college environments, where there is actual social hierarchy.

  • I think most people go with what attracts them, I don't think there is a specific divide.


What Guys Said 5

  • Yes. Leagues are determine by a combination of your LOOKS, MONEY, SOCIAL STATUS.

    For example a girl working at a bar. Hooking up with a guy who works as an investment banker making 6 figures will most likely be out of this guy's league both financially and socially. So from an outside observer the guy clearly is outside her league.

    Now what determines whether a person sees you beneath their league or at their league or even beyond it is based on 3 things:

    1. What that person values most for a partner.
    2. How easy it is for him to get a person for things he values most in a romantic partner.

    So say the investment banker values looks the most and the girl is a 9/10. Factor in also that she is most attractive girl he has ever been given a chance at dating then he would consider her in his league despite lacking poorly in social status and money.

    If said banker can get 9/10 like her very easy then he will factor in the other 2 categories more and consider her beneath his league.

  • Yes and no.

    Most people have a 'league' which reflects where they sit, and what sort of people they can land.

    When it comes to women, i'd suggest most men may bump a woman up or down 1 point based on personal taste. That's a fair bit. The 1-10 scale is pretty much a normal distribution type thing, so there's a big jump going from 6 to 7 or 7 to 8. I kind of have a sense of both, I can see a girl and know she's a 6 who is my type, so to me she's as hot as a 7. Girls can also get a bonus point for exactly matching you sexually, but you don't know that at first.

    Girls, I would say, vary more in their rating of men, their 'type' might move them two points up or down, which is huge.

    So basically if you're a '6' that means you can usually get '6's. But you could also get a girl who is a 7 if you happen to be her type. Of course if she's also your type, you might think she's as good as an 8.

    I'd kind of say the happiest couples at least initially are ones who are the same level, but both each other's type. So say they're both 7's, but basically both see the other as an 8. So both are wondering how they got so lucky to land the other.

  • Yes of course there are "leagues", very few people are willing to date people who they are not attracted to, plus people also have requirements their partners have to meet.

    The only thing is, you don't know what people's "leagues" are and you may be discouraged from pursuing them even though their league might include you.

    • Who actually determines "league" though? that is the real question.

    • Well the person in question, no?
      "Leagues" are just generalizations and estimations of people's standards and expectations.

      Someone as fit and as health conscious as me is probably not going to be interested in overweight people.
      Likewise, a career woman who makes 6 figures is probably not going to be interested in a burger flipper boy.

      Yes there are exceptions, but that's that.
      Still, it is probably worth trying to pursue someone who you think might be "out of your league" but I don't think it is unreasonable to at least expect rejection.

    • I don't believe in this shit. It's self defeating. Just wanted to get other people's views.

  • Yes. Here are the main categories: 1) income, 2) education, 3) looks, and 4) confidence level.

  • yeah


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