Deciding to Enter an Exclusive Relationship?

I am only 22. I have experienced heartbreak, breaking someone else's heart, infatuation, a friends with benefits, and now I am dating. I have never actually called someone my "boyfriend" or been exclusive with anybody.

My question:

How do you decide whether or not to enter into an exclusive relationship? Is it a big deal to you? I am not entirely sure I want to enter an exclusive relationship with the guy I am dating (we are currently in an open relationship). I question myself every other second. I have enjoyed going on dates and meeting new people... but have started to realize that I cannot date two people on a continuous basis, simultaneously. That feels wrong.

There are a couple of guys I have gone out with that I have connected with and can really sense potential with. I am not head over heels in love or infatuated with either one. I feel like we are moving at the right speed and I just want to explore what we could be like together.

These men are older and more comfortable in their own skin. I like that. I feel like the guy I am currently dating lacks the same sense of security and that scares me. I do not know if he is mature enough for me, but I know he cares for me very much. The chemistry is great and we are incredibly comfortable with each other. At the same time I feel like these other guys (the ones I can sense a future with) are moving (though naturally), slowly.

I am scared I will rush into something I am not ready for and I don't want to find myself settling and cut myself off to other opportunities/possibilities. I have been told that I am overthinking/taking this too seriously because this guy has not asked me to marry him. Yet, I feel like he is serious about me and I just want to take it slow and easy.

What do you think you would you do if you were me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Most people agree to an exclusive relationship long before they talk about marriage so "we haven't talked about marriage yet" doesn't mean much.

    You feel uncomfortable dating more than one guy at a time. I felt the same way the last time I was dating two women. I felt guilty even though I had not promised either of them an exclusive relationship. So you can't (or probably shouldn't) continue to date two or more simultaneously.

    If you must choose, you will never know if you made the right choice AND if you make the wrong choice, the other guy probably won't waiting around for you to figure out that he is the one. He will have moved on.

    So, if you must say goodbye to one of them, saying goodbye to which one will cause you the most regret? Which one do you think is the most realistic possibility for a LTR?

    Pick one, say a polite goodbye to the other, and move forward with whichever one you choose. This is one of the consequences of dating more than one partner at the same time and one reason why some people prefer to date only one person at a time.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you don't feel ready for a relationship, chances are good it's not the right time, no rush!


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • you kinda have already answered your own question. You obviously want to be exclusive now. So take the jump. Ask him if he wants that.

  • don't go for children right away. go into relationship but keep it slow, don't rush into it

  • I know this isn't the case in a lot of places but where I live every relationship is an exclusive relationship, college students still go out with each other. Just because you date someone doesn't mean you're going to accidentally marry them. You're young, try this shit out now, if it doesn't work its no big deal


What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes