Is being a single Mum a turn off?

I feel invisible to Men.

I take care of myself I support myself and my 10 year old daughter have a good job!

So what's the issue? Recently I asked an ex who broke off our relationship to go back to his ex.

Turns out I'm the perfect woman just one problem he wanted someone without kids. He wanted a family just not with someone who already has a child.

He also said this is a big thing for men.

Is it? Am I doomed to stay single? Are there no good guys out there?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are not doomed to stay single, however he is correct in that this is a very big thing with men. The reason has to do with evolution. Other male mammals are similarly uptight or worse. For instance, with lions, a male lion will kill the cubs sired by other male lions. Lion mothers stick together to prevent that from happening.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 20

  • There are tons of "good" men out there and yeah they are averse to the fact that you have a child. Lets not even factor in the fact that you have a child to Another Man, lets just look at the future aspect... that will ALWAYS be YOUR child. Not his.
    Im facing the same shit now... i have what is most likely the perfect woman.. but she has a child (son).. and i feel like i will always be #2 in her life. cant/dont wanna deal with it.
    You aren't doomed to stay single... but you will always be wary and men can detect that... after all... that is YOUR child.. not BOTH of y'alls child.
    see what i mean?

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  • Well it's not a turn off. If a guy sees you with kids he automatically thinks your taken. But make sure when you want to see guys. Have someone you trust babysit your kids. also make sure guys who you are dating knows that you have kids. say it with pride. Because guys want to know that you are proud mommy. Do not over do it. don't be like that cat lady who showed pictures. only if he is genuinely interested in your pictures. but don't over show.

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  • I cannot answer for other men, but, for me, it would depend upon the circumstances.
    Was she a widow, or divorced?
    Or, was the child (or children) a Mini Me legacy of her days of riding the bad-boy cock carousel?
    As one who was rejected more times than I could count (until age 30) by girls who wanted to ride the carousel, I was and remain not inclined to reward their previous behaviour by being available, now that they are "ready for a good man".
    Further, on an instinctive level, there is no evolutionary pay-off for a man to invest his resources into raising the offspring of another man.

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  • Huge turn-off for various reasons. From a lot of single moms being irresponsible to be always (rightfully) second priority behind the child - a child that has another father which in itself has plenty of issues attached to.

    There are pretty much no women out there worth such a hassle.

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  • Yes single mums are a turn off. Because they are bad for society. And it's a shitty thing to do to a kid.

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    • Bad for society? Your attitude is bad for life. Not every single mother is single by choice.

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    • Your damaged and sad dude. I pity you.

    • Dont pity me. Im doing very well in my life. Better pity your daughter.

  • no- have the hugest respect for single mums

    true super heroines

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  • A kid is a big responsibility. It might as well be my own kid if we're going to be serious and stay together for years. Many guys aren't ready for that, particularly for a kid that isn't their blood.

    Try going after guys with their own kids.

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  • So you're equating a "good guy" as someone who wants to take care of another dudes kid and put up with all the drama that comes with it?

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    • I take care of my daughter. There is no drama I'm an adult

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    • I didn't realise Men were so shallow it's been an eye opener.

    • People are shallow. Such is life.

  • Us good guys are out there.

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    • I hope you are right. Really lost faith in the opposite sex which is sad

    • I understand. Guys are dicks.

  • there are guys who aren't ok with someone who has a kid. mainly single guys without kids who've never married.
    personally I couldn't date someone with a kid.

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  • Huge turn off.

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  • It is never a turn off to me , I admire single mothers because you do so much to give your child (ren) a great life and the things they need.
    I was raised by one and I e the utmost respect for single mothers out there.

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  • You are invisible to quality men. I am sorry but I will not mess with a single mom. Too easily to get attached to the child. Easy to leave a woman hard to abandon a kid your attached too.

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  • Why does it make us shallow?

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  • My #1 turn off

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  • This is the biggest turn off. Honestly your doomed. But goodluck on finding a future partner.

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  • So if a guy dont want a single mom he is not good? Smh

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  • It's a deal breaker

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  • no not at all a turn off.

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  • Turn off, no, dealbreaker for many men, yes.

    Your best bet might be divorced dads. Some of them love kids, just don't want to start from infancy, again.

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