Should I ask her out on a second date? Mixed signals?

So recently I met a girl on a dating app and we talked for about a week until we went on a 4 hour date. At the end of the date I just hugged her and told her I had a good time and wanted to hang out again and she replied with "we should". During the date I just felt like she was extremely shy - during dinner it was fine and we talked a lot but after when we went to hang out she would not face me while talking and had a very soft voice when talking (I had to tell her I couldn't hear her). Her body language was stand offish.

After driving home I just sent her the standard I had fun, let's do this again, hope you got home safe text and she replied very quickly and said it was fun and suggested that we go to the park next time - after which I replied attempting to set a date but she didn't know her work schedule for the next week and that she would let me know. I just replied that's fine and then the next day I just initiate a convo and she doesn't reply until the evening saying she was with friends. The conversation isn't very great and ends with me asking a her a question and she doesn't respond until the next morning.

I generally work at night (I do work online) so I didn't respond until 4 hours after she sent me the message and she did not reply all day. I added her on snapchat and sent her a few snaps and she replied fast.

So my question is: Should I pursue a second date with this girl? I have to initiate most of the conversations so I feel like she isn't too interested although she had to drive quite a while in order to make the date. For some reason I really like her - she's exactly my type, but I've been worrying my brains out the past few days over her and just want to know where I stand. . One of the things that may have caused this was that when we were texting I sometimes would reply 10-15 minutes later but sometimes even a few hours later. I'm not sure if I should just tell her about what I feel or wait for her to tell me her schedule like she said

New info:

I was tired of not getting responses so I began to go no contact. She sent me a few snaps after a day of no conversation, to which I responded with a selfy with the caption "when will I see you again?" She texted me immediately afterward saying she got off at 4 on Thursday. I tried to set up a date saying we should get dinner but I haven't heard from her in over a day. What is going on? Should I just confront her and try to set things straight?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Try pursuing a second date. However, don't text her a lot. Allow her some time to breathe.

    • I've been stressing out so hard the past few days I've actually lost sleep! I've been on many dates in the past but this girl has me captivated for some reason. I've decided to just delete her phone number and just wait and see if she tries to reach out. It's been one day since I've heard from her- hopefully she tries to talk to me but otherwise I will take the hint and leave her alone.

Most Helpful Guy

  • To her you've thrown the mixed signals. Guys have this misconception that some girls are shy. Which is usually not the case at all. She's just mirroring you now. You may have already turned her off. Sounds like you started off on the wrong foot - as a "nice guy". You didn't come with the right game. And you weren't upfront about fucking. She's trying to figure you out now. So that she can put you in the proper category (or as they say put you in a box). It'll probably be the BudZone aka the zone of friends. Or she might just shoot you down all together. You can increase your chances by ignoring her and waiting until she contacts you. If she does contact you then you must come correct. But in the meantime move on. Find another girl and come with the right game this time. Be more upfront about what you're trying to do with them from the get go.

    • Thanks for the insight. I may come off as a nice guy but that's what I want. I don't just want to fuck this girl, I want to date her. I don't care if it's beta or if All the pick up artists say otherwise because that's the way I am and I don't want to change. If it means I get placed in the box so be it.

    • You seek a future wife amongst millennial 3rd wavers? Good luck in journey brother.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Do you like her? Or do you feel like you would at least like to get to know her better? Then ask her out again. It seems like she's willing.


What Guys Said 1

  • I would try again. I would never write off a first date because people do get nervous or have limited dating experience and it can be easy to be intimidated. I can seem like she was stand-off ish, when in reality she was just shy.

    • Tomorrow is Thursday. I would wait until then, if she still doesn't reply, then drop her.

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