What the hell happened?

Went on a first date. He asked me out on a second. We agreed it would be next Friday, as we are both quite busy with work.

We were messaging each other back and forth, and I mentioned that I felt like he had difficulty understanding me ( English is his second language) he then said I get what you mean and it's fine, probably better for you and for me.

I was like ok? I don't really get what you mean but fine. He said ok, thank you. That was it he hasn't messaged me and I haven't messaged him. I don't know if he was offended or what his deal is, it was very odd.

What do you girls and guys think?


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14

Most Helpful Guy

  • That's really strange.
    I've had many contacts with people that English is not their primary language and they are not fully fluent. I can come up with few theories:

    1. He has no idea what you saying. I mean he hears you but half of the meaning behind the words you express get transmitted into his brain. I can say he understands you but not so deeply. So when you have this idea that he had a difficult time understanding you. You experienced it again. The same story repeated when you confronted the matter.

    2. He might understood you in a wrong way. Means he could understand your statement as a negative nearly break up type of statement. Maybe he got offended. I can't be sure.

    3. Maybe he understood what you mean. As he said it. But when he said "It's fine probably better for you and for me" my only guess is he means that if he can't always understand you is not always a bad thing. Some people have such belief. Like you can do anything and he doesn't understand you anyway. It's just a possibility that he meant that by expressing those words.

    4. Well, when you are communicating with people who don't speak the same language fluently. You must understand this is going to be your responsibility to read the hidden messages and the actual meaning within the lines of their expressions. They could say something that doesn't make sense. But in their brain and thoughts. They imagine they are making their point. But the choose of words and the selection of grammar could fail subconsciously and the expression they produce might not be as good as you expect and it sounds very odd in compare of what you've expressed before their response. Following that, So when he said "I know what you mean and it's fine" he possibly meant "I know what you talking about, i know what you mean and i am okay with it. I don't think this can be an issue" then when he said, "Probably better for you and for me" he could possibly mean "It's not that bad after all" but as i have mentioned earlier. He could also took you in a wrong way and thought you are breaking up like he meant it as "I understand you wanna break up because we have lack of understanding!!! and it's fine, maybe it's better for both us anyway"

    The truth is it could be thousand of possibilities. The best for you is to communicate further. And try to settle it down and understand him better.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Could be offended, could be busy.

    Just let him be, he's most likely gonna cool off.

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What Guys Said 3

  • He could have taken you out of context again. Both of you not talking to each other really won't make this work. If you are interested in him, just check on him and ask how he is doing, or just make sure your plans on Friday are still on track.

    His response to me seems like he thought his English was a dealbreaker and you were pulling back slowly. You've gotta understand that people who take English as a second language, also at times do not understand the emotion or context that some English words represent. It's hard to explain. Just talk to him and verify your plans is all I'm saying If you want what you have with him to work, there needs to be a lot of communication on your ends, so as to create better understanding.

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  • he thought you were breaking it off hahaha

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  • can you tell us what did you say and in what context?

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