I don't trust him? Am I right to be this way?

Hello.

I have been going out with a guy for a month and something in me just doesn't trust him.

First of, he admitted he got in contact with his ex to get back at her because he is going out with me.

Secondly, looking through his phone, he talks to a lot of females.

I don't like this.

What do I say to him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Without considering any details. You have the right to not trust anyone before a reasonable amount of trust start to establish in your comfort zone.

    -He is in contact with his ex in order to reunite. -He is in touch with many females.

    The first issue:

    It's really an untrustworthy behavior. I wouldn't really mind a connection with an ex. However (i know you care about that) but the point is when he admits that he is looking for a chance to reunite with her. It would definitely produce a bad vibe. You don't want to be treated as a fun station of life for someone else. You need a promising behavior from him as a man. And he failing to produce that vibe. So you have the full right to not trust him. Because he doesn't sound trustworthy so far.

    The second issue:

    I don't know why would you be so sensitive on his communication with other females. I'm not sure if you have bad memories or it's just generally part of your red flags. I just wanna point out that you could work on this one somehow from your side. But i am sure with your description he seems loose. His behaviors sounds out of control and i can be sure your sensitivity on this can be massively be his own fault. He is in touch with his ex. Hanging with his phone and there are many females. And probably he lacks communication as well. Thus you can get this vibe that there is something wrong with him that you can't get it right. And i would say this is your right to feel that way.

    But what can be done? Communication.
    Mutual communication, mutual understanding and mutual agreement. You must confront your concern about both of these issues openly but calmly and politely. These issues are on your nerves and disturbing your mind. You deserve be freed out of them. And he as your partner has this responsibility to listen to you and do the best on his ability to help you to feel better. Just communicate, talk about it, clear everything. Listen to each other and become aware of each other's minds. Then reach an agreement.

    At the end, i would say you need and deserve someone who put your emotions, willingness and comfort on priority.

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What Guys Said 8

  • let's be honest, those who are less trustworthy tend to be the least trusting. they believe others share their thought process. not being mean, but you did go straight to, I looked through his phone.
    I can't speak to this particular instance because I don't know the guy, but if he was single a lot before you met him it is normal to have a lot of female contacts and friends these days. with the online dating thing a lot of people that single guys meet and hang out with are females. it's only natural that a few of them, who already have things in common with him, because that's how they found each other in the first place, become good friends.

    as for the ex thing... that's a bit of a red flag. you know that he's spiteful. some people can get along with that, but that just means he's a jealous guy, and will take things out on people he feels slighted by. it also means that he considers you a prize. some girls are into that sort of thing, but most women don't care for being considered as a possession. I might dump him for that alone, however, of course, then you have to deal with the reprocussions. and if you don't, then you have to live in fear of what the reprocussions will be if you do dump him.

    there are certain people that it's better to just avoid relationships with.

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  • you have a total right to not trust him and you also have a total right to dump his ass and find someone else

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  • Leave him. One the trust is gone it won't come back.

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  • If you are feeling uncomfortable with him, then I see no point on continuing. A significant other is supposed to make you feel good, not worry or stress.

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  • dont say anything to him stop the hangout

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  • the important thing is you don't feel it, that spins off into mistrust and the you ration\lize. its ok to not like someone. cut it off and move one

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  • Dump him and don't say anything

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  • bye lol not worth it girl

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What Girls Said 9

  • I think it's best for you to leave. I mean you have known him for a month and you're already looking through his phone.

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  • stay away from that type of guy he sounds trouble

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  • If you have a gut instinct, LISTEN TO IT.

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  • girl, always trust your gut and instinct. cut it off

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  • Leave if you don't trust him.
    You will never be happy

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  • Ask him up straight. If he is loyal to you. Then try to handle yourself.

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  • Go with your gut , it's a bullshit detector. Intuition may not tell you someone's motives or intentions , but it'll guide you, and let you know when something isn't right. It's like your inner GPS , it guides you in the right direction

    I was in a similar position a while back. I had a gut feeling a guy I was seeing wasn't being truthful with me. My gut told me he was playing me. I couldn't pinpoint the reason or explain why I felt that way. I decided to trust my gut. It turned out I was right all along. After I stopped speaking to him I found out he was playing me. I was thankful I listened to my gut. It still hurt though

    Your intuition can be trusted over anyone's reasons, excuse or explanation. Always follow you perception and Intuition. If you feel you're being played and lied to , you probably are.

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  • Trust your gut feelings if you don't trust him there must be a reason for it

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  • Be honest about how you feel. Talk to him. You have a right to confront him if things don't add up, or don't seem right

    I was in a similar situation a while back. He was very nice, funny and we got on so well. I really liked him a lot. I started getting a gut feeling he wasn't being sincere with me. I couldn't pinpoint what or why I felt that way. I got this gut feeling he was lying to me and playing me

    I told him how I felt, but his reassurance just made me doubt him more. So I ended it, and contact with him

    A few weeks later I dicovered my gut feeling was right. Someone I knew who knows him told me he was playing me, and to prove it this person showed me screenshots of messages I'd sent him. (For his eyes only.) I felt hurt even though I knew anyway that he was playing me. I thinks it's coz I liked his fun sense of humor , which I knew was genuine.

    So confront him, see what his response is then make a decision of what to do based on his response.

    Your intuition is like your inner GPS.. it'll guide you. It won't tell you what a person is thinking or what their motives or intentions are , but it will let you know if something isn't right and it'll guide you who to trust and who not to trust

    I always trust my gut feeling, my intuition, over anyone's excuse, reason or explanation.

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