I have been going out with a guy for a month and something in me just doesn't trust him.
First of, he admitted he got in contact with his ex to get back at her because he is going out with me.
Secondly, looking through his phone, he talks to a lot of females.
I don't like this.
What do I say to him?
Most Helpful Guy
Without considering any details. You have the right to not trust anyone before a reasonable amount of trust start to establish in your comfort zone.
-He is in contact with his ex in order to reunite. -He is in touch with many females.
The first issue:
It's really an untrustworthy behavior. I wouldn't really mind a connection with an ex. However (i know you care about that) but the point is when he admits that he is looking for a chance to reunite with her. It would definitely produce a bad vibe. You don't want to be treated as a fun station of life for someone else. You need a promising behavior from him as a man. And he failing to produce that vibe. So you have the full right to not trust him. Because he doesn't sound trustworthy so far.
The second issue:
I don't know why would you be so sensitive on his communication with other females. I'm not sure if you have bad memories or it's just generally part of your red flags. I just wanna point out that you could work on this one somehow from your side. But i am sure with your description he seems loose. His behaviors sounds out of control and i can be sure your sensitivity on this can be massively be his own fault. He is in touch with his ex. Hanging with his phone and there are many females. And probably he lacks communication as well. Thus you can get this vibe that there is something wrong with him that you can't get it right. And i would say this is your right to feel that way.
But what can be done? Communication.
Mutual communication, mutual understanding and mutual agreement. You must confront your concern about both of these issues openly but calmly and politely. These issues are on your nerves and disturbing your mind. You deserve be freed out of them. And he as your partner has this responsibility to listen to you and do the best on his ability to help you to feel better. Just communicate, talk about it, clear everything. Listen to each other and become aware of each other's minds. Then reach an agreement.
At the end, i would say you need and deserve someone who put your emotions, willingness and comfort on priority.1