Girlfriend says I don't love her because I don't spend money on her? Is it time to leave her?

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We have been in a relationship for 3 months and have had sex.

We are both graduate students but she is at a better university, so she earns a bit more than me - around $1,000 more.

I don't really understand what rule says that I am supposed to spend money on her... I mean it's been 3 months...

She's a hopeless romantic though and might be brainwashed by romantic movies.

Is it time to find someone better?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Spending money on someone doesn't show them that you love them. It just shows them that you are willing to spend money on them. Unfortunately some people equate money spent with love.

    I don't see how it's 'traditional' to be raised to think a person needs to spend money on you to think that you are loved. That to me is materialistic. There are so many things that can be done to show you love someone without spending a dime.

    Some examples:

    - Calling someone
    - Helping them with chores
    - Visiting them
    - Going on a walk with them
    - Hold their hand
    - Kiss them
    - Hug them
    - Cook dinner for them
    - Telling them you love them

    So many of these are low cost or even free. I think your girlfriend needs to get her priorities straightened out. So many people will spend money on you, but not treat a person right. It's far better to find someone who is willing to treat you right than someone who is only able to spend money on you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just get a sugar baby who is a 10/10 and kick the girlfriend to the curb dude. You practically have an escort.

    i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...age-a-1_1477664087899.jpg

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    • HAHAHA I should have added that she was a virgin before me - so I am certain she's not at that stage. Nonetheless she has ridiculous views on what I am "expected" to do

    • Doesn't matter if she is a virgin before u. There are virgin girls selling their pussy for large sums of money. An escort doesn't necessarily mean she has a high body count, a girl starting escort could have been a virgin too and a sugar baby could be a virgin girl too looking for a sugar daddy. The point being is the principle, if she equates love to you spending money on her then she is no better than an escort/sugar baby. So if this is the case trade up and get a better looking one.

    • Hmm didn't think of it that way but I agree!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 15

  • I know my boyfriend has had problems with girlfriends in the past expecting presents all the time.
    Definitely not something that should be expected. Typically, people buy things for others because they want to.
    Bring up your budget if that's part of the issue. She should definitely learn to respect that.
    Happiness can be found elsewhere. There are activities you guys can easily take part in that have no cost.
    I've known people who do expect everything from their significant other, and the stress from if for the other person just doesn't seem worth it to me.
    Definitely bring the issue up to her. If she can't respect your wishes, it might be best to move on.

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  • Have you heard of the Love Languages? Everyone has different languages of love, one of hers may be gifts.
    Is she asking you to spend all you money on her? does she buy you things? Is there something specific that she wants? Is she looking for minor things, like food, or major things, like clothes?

    I know it's only been 3 months in but just because she wants you to buy her something doesn't mean she's materialistic. She might have strong feelings for you and in her mind part of a relationship is buying each other things.

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  • I think talk to her first before making this decision. Ask her why you need to spend money on her? And if she doesn't give a satisfactory answer then maybe consider finding someone else.

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    • I did and I told her that I found her behavior unacceptable as it shows me that she values me based off how much I spend on her and not on me as a person.

      She said that she was raised traditionally

    • If this is causing a huge issue for you then maybe considering ending it.

  • honestly if she needs gifts as a sense of validation, she's not gonna be anything long term. I'm a hopeless romantic too, but at least I'm realistic about life. honestly, I say if you can't see a future, there's no reason to persue it

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  • if she would be saying "you don't love her because you don't spend time with her" then i might totally understand it... but why should you spend money on her? that sounds like a gold digging characteristic

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  • She sounds very materialistic :/ I would make her understand that spending money on her isn't a form of expressing your love to her. If she can't understand that, then she can go find someone else.

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    • I tried doing that already unfortunately - I am very direct when it comes to these things. I am really on the fence about this now

  • Omg wow she actually said that out loud to you?

    Jesus.

    I'd be happy for a guy to just treat me well with respect care and want to spend time with me

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  • Your a total jerk - because she asked you to spend money on her you are breaking up with her?

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    • Yes exactly!

    • No need to waste time with gold diggers, right?

  • Sounds like a one sided relationship... she wants you to spend all your money on her but does she ever do anything for you? It takes two to make a relationship work.

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  • yes definitely...😊

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  • That's not cool man. Money doesn't prove love. Talk to her about it. If she gets angry, leave.

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  • It can be that her parents showing her love with gift. I know my parents always buying all I wanted so for me money / gift show love.
    Why wouldn't you spend money or buying gift to her? Everyone always said that buying gift for people you love are even better than receiving gift.

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  • Just tell her your budget and what you are using your money on. If you're saving for the future or something she'll appreciate that

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  • It depends.

    If she spends money on you, then she could be saying that because she feels taken advantage of. She may feel the relationship is one-sided

    If this is not the case , then maybe you should consider her true motive for being in a relationship with you

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  • she's just those kind of girls that expects u to shower her w gifts and be the one to pay for every date. If u dont like it then you should leave her.

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What Guys Said 9

  • If you want her that's what it seems to take... I guess

    Leave or don't. The guy that she finds will end up spending money on her to be with her. Because tons of saps would

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  • Yeah, dump her.

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  • No. She's not a hopeless romantic. Romance is not based on spending money, it's based on thought and consideration. She's typical girl in today's world of consumerism. Since she makes more money, is she buying you anything more than you do? She's very well possibly a gold digger and might not even know it.

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  • Definitely you need someone better than that

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  • Don't spend too much money a woman if she doesn't have a ring on her finger. It's pointless and if it doesn't work out you will feel used

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    • I have not ever. My own mom was the one who told me not to spend money on women I am dating because she says it's a different era

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    • She wants spend too much time with me unfortunately... I mean she literally chokes me now... but I am just getting really offended by this "sense of entitlement"

    • I don't know why someone females feel like just because we are dating we are supposed to give them gifts and spend money. If it doesn't work out there are better girls man. Recognize thing me you don't like early in the relationship and end it. Don't stay in it for years expecting her to change or stop asking. The longer you stay the more she will ask for.

  • yeah

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  • What do you mean exactly by spending money on her? Gifts?

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    • On food. We go out to restaurants A LOT and I always go dutch for personal reasons

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    • $0

      As a matter of fact she took me out for movies one time but it turns out the movie tickets were free because she had won reward points

    • ... Let's be realists here please. Try to save your relationship by making her understand that things have to be mutual. In economics you don't care so much if it is not balanced but still. Not giving anything and complaining on top of it?

  • omg. dumb her asap.

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  • I would. If money is more important to her than you, yep, good bye.

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