He says he cares and wants me around, but doesn't want to waste my time. What should I do?

I met this guy 4 months ago. I'm 24 and he's 20. He literally swooped in and swept me off my feet. I never had to question how much he cared and he treated me with so much respect. We always had date nights and he always wanted me to stay over. Sometimes he would go to work and leave me there. I felt comfortable with him. He would even make comments like "when we live together... " or "this bed sucks we will eventually get a bigger bed". By him saying that it felt like we were working torwards a future. Well on V-day he made it super special. I also bought him gifts as well. However towards the end of the night I got moody and my attitude changed. I thought he was texting another female and we got into a really bad argument and I threatened to leave. He obviously denied it and I realized how foolish I was and I immediately apologized, but from the look on his face I saw the damage was done. The next day I aplogized again and he told me he wasn't mad. He still texted me everyday and called me babe, baby etc but in person, his actions changed. He barely kissed me and even sex felt weird. We did have a talk and he admitted how he was acting and apologized saying he was truly sorry and he was going to work on his communication. I asked are we good and he said yes. I asked is there any underlining issue and he said no. I thought after that, we were good but we weren't. Then tonight we were hanging and it just didn't feel the same. I asked him again and he said he can even feel it to. I told him the issue was coming from him and please talk to me. He said that he cares about me and that I'm this amazing person but he doesn't see a relationship for us right now becuase he thinks its bad timing. He used work as an excuse and said down the line his feelings can change. He also said how he still wants us to talk and hang out. But how can I be around him if its going to go nowhere. I blame myself and now I dont know what to do or if its fixable. Should I leave him alone?
He also has a new co worker that I think can be swaying his mind with negative thoughts about women. Also with him being young he's impressionable.


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  • I wouldn't give it another chance. I think he actually change his mind. You should move on.

    • I think he did too. I also think its unfair for him to talk to me like normal and think everything will continue to be the same between us.

  • Yes leave him alone. Not even friendship. Some things just don't work out.

    • Yeah I know its just hard when everything was going perfect and I feel like my outburst caused him to rethink our entire situation. I was starting to fall for him and now I feel shafted. I Feel like I had a good guy but pushed him away. He also has a new older co-worker who he latched onto who's going through a messy divorce. Im now wondering if maybe that guy is getting in head and making him rethink us. He told me how he's young and he feels its bad timing for us and that he doesn't want to end up like his co-worker going through a divorce and trying to go back to school at 36.

    • He's being open and honest about how he feels. You need to stop analyzing and trying to figure out how you can get him back. He's 20 and doesn't want a commitment. Let him go and leave him alone.

    • You're right. I guess I am analyzing. Its hard to do when you feel like you messed up. But you're right.

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