My boyfriend is always joking about my friends and how they're cute, and how if we're all going to hangout he says "they're already here ;)". He likes to joke about infidelity and sometimes I get annoyed, but I try and just laugh about it. I used to freak out about it. But now I'm okay.
But, if I make jokes like he does, he actually gets mad at me. He used to tell me all the time to "calm down I'm just joking". But, if I do it and I'm ALWAYS kidding, he gets cold and distant with me and doesn't go along with my jokes.
I dont understsnd. He just gets weird about it. I don't think it's fair HE can joke and tell ME to calm down, but when I start to do it he gets mad and distant.
I mean. He started it. I only started to do it recently :/
Most Helpful Guy
Based on me as a guy we get very protective and very territorial so to speak and that's all in our nature. We get extremely jealous when a girl we like is with another guy dating or just hanging out as friends. This is probably why he gets mad if you joke about one of his friends being cute or handsome, he's just getting jealous and shows that to you by being mad at you (he is reacting how you said you felt at first but showing you). From what I believe this is just because he loves you and doesn't want you running off with any other guys, he's afraid of losing you so acts distant so you'll chase him and show you want to be with him or so he cares less if you do leave. It might be unfair but just tell him you don't like him joking about your friends either and he'll probably stop2
Most Helpful Girl
Stop being passive aggressive. When you're calm, sit down and talk with him about this issue. Say that he's always made jokes about other women and infidelity and when it bothered you he was dismissive. Now that you've accepted his jokes as normal (which I don't think you really have because you're trying to get back at him like this when you didn't normally make these kinds of jokes) and are making the same kind, the exact kind that he thinks is okay for him to make, he is the one being hurt and can't accept this behavior. He is being hypocritical. He either needs to get over it or you both agree to stop doing it. Also, let him know that dismissing your feelings in the future is not acceptable. He doesn't like when it's done to him and he shouldn't do it to you. If one person has an issue the other person doesn't get to decide that it's not important. One person's issue with their partner is by default a relationship issue and needs to be discussed and worked out.1