boyfriend makes jokes about other girls? But when I do it he gets mad?

My boyfriend is always joking about my friends and how they're cute, and how if we're all going to hangout he says "they're already here ;)". He likes to joke about infidelity and sometimes I get annoyed, but I try and just laugh about it. I used to freak out about it. But now I'm okay.

But, if I make jokes like he does, he actually gets mad at me. He used to tell me all the time to "calm down I'm just joking". But, if I do it and I'm ALWAYS kidding, he gets cold and distant with me and doesn't go along with my jokes.

I dont understsnd. He just gets weird about it. I don't think it's fair HE can joke and tell ME to calm down, but when I start to do it he gets mad and distant.

I mean. He started it. I only started to do it recently :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Based on me as a guy we get very protective and very territorial so to speak and that's all in our nature. We get extremely jealous when a girl we like is with another guy dating or just hanging out as friends. This is probably why he gets mad if you joke about one of his friends being cute or handsome, he's just getting jealous and shows that to you by being mad at you (he is reacting how you said you felt at first but showing you). From what I believe this is just because he loves you and doesn't want you running off with any other guys, he's afraid of losing you so acts distant so you'll chase him and show you want to be with him or so he cares less if you do leave. It might be unfair but just tell him you don't like him joking about your friends either and he'll probably stop

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    • Should I apologize to him about the joke I made then? I mean, I got annoyed at him so I just said "bye". But, I guess I can text him and say "you know I was only kidding lol".
      He has to know I was kidding. But I guess he still got upset. I mean, he has seen me around other guys. I made a joke about the guys at the club (which I'll be going to tonight). He's also made jokes about other girls OTHER than my friends. But he has been to the club with me. I tell every guy that wants to dance with me "no thank you", and I would pull my boyfriend closer to me. The only dancing I would do is friendly dancing with NO contact with others.

      So, I'm not sure why he got so upset. Maybe because he can't go this time and he's afraid because of the attention I'll get. Or that maybe I'll do something.

    • I would apologise and tell him you don't like it when he makes comments on other girls and he'll probably understand and you both stop or he'll continue to make jokes every now and again but probably less frequently and to just tease you, then you can go along with them or make your own comments hoping he understands you're just joking as well. I think these kind of jokes are fine as long as you both know the other person is joking and you're both ok with them

Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop being passive aggressive. When you're calm, sit down and talk with him about this issue. Say that he's always made jokes about other women and infidelity and when it bothered you he was dismissive. Now that you've accepted his jokes as normal (which I don't think you really have because you're trying to get back at him like this when you didn't normally make these kinds of jokes) and are making the same kind, the exact kind that he thinks is okay for him to make, he is the one being hurt and can't accept this behavior. He is being hypocritical. He either needs to get over it or you both agree to stop doing it. Also, let him know that dismissing your feelings in the future is not acceptable. He doesn't like when it's done to him and he shouldn't do it to you. If one person has an issue the other person doesn't get to decide that it's not important. One person's issue with their partner is by default a relationship issue and needs to be discussed and worked out.

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    • You are right. I have told him before I don't like the jokes. He told me they would stop, but every occasion or so he makes one. I try and be okay with it, but also sometimes the opportunity strikes itself and I make a joke. But, for the most part I don't make jokes like that.

      But, I will apologize to him and talk about how he makes jokes like that to me too. So I assumed it's okay. Maybe then he will ACTUALLT stop.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 5

  • I actually realized that my partner does almost the exact same thing to me. I feel like he does it because he likes to get my reaction out of it, even though he know that it pisses me off and makes me angry. He kind of likes to see just how protective I will get over him? Or it's hilarious to see me scream about it (which I realized I keep falling for it, no matter how many times he does it.) I also think they get mad when us girls do it back because they are protective and scared that someone will take us from them?

    They pretty much do it to gain your attention, and this seems to be the male way of when we scream for hugs and cuddles, lol. It can be annoying at times but I can't imagine how scary it would be if he stopped doing it (possibly someone else caught his attention instead?)

    Ofc each guy is different though.

    Good luck!

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  • That is not okay in my book. You definitely need to talk about it with him if its bothering you.
    I think it would be best if both of you just stopped making these kinds of jokes all together. Otherwise down the road, it may become an issue again.

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  • tell him to stop being as ass

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    • I'm not sure if I should apologize. I just made a joke over text and it didn't seem to go over well with him...

    • no you shouldn't. You should tell him if you are allowed to do this than so am I.

  • He's a double standard type. Hate that. Instead of laughing it off, you should tell him that just as it bothers him, it bothers you too. That's so understandable. If he doesn't care, then he's super indifferent, which is terrible.

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  • It's because he's insecure and he gets mad when you do it but it's okay for him. He's a hypocrite.

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    • He is always telling me "I'm a pretty confident guy". But, I find that hard to believe especially because he gets upset about MY jokes.

    • Nah he lyin. My ex used to do that. He didn't call girls cute but like one time he said this line that pissed mee off sooo badd...

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