Guys, I'm wondering if it's a turn off when the girl you are seeing is further into the relationship than you?

So let's say you really like the girl you're seeing and you're willing to see where it leads to, but you could tell she's a lot more emotionally attached to you than you are to her. I'm not talking about the very needy desperate girl who tries to do things to make you like her more. It may be a couple of things that she has said to you or the way she looks at you when she sees you that has made you realize that she has caught stronger feelings for you than you have for her.

So I'm just wondering if this could be a turn off to a guy.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, it's not a turn off. There is value in expressing your true feelings. In fact, the opposite is just as true - you're not really into him much and he's aware then he's probably not going to put much effort in either.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I don't consider it a turn-off.

    1. Flattered 2. Concerned

    -I would be flattered that someone developed such an emotion toward me. It feels great to know someone have strong feelings for me. Specially when i like the girl already. If she established a stronger feeling much quicker than me. That would be okay. It would excite me. Well, such strong emotion would somehow bring more trust. And when someone trust me. I will do anything for them.

    -I would be concerned if i'm not very connected. I like her but no as strong as it takes to carry a relationship to the next level. I would be worried if i am not developed the necessary feeling and i'm still exploring and waiting to get to know the girl more. I would be worried because if at the end i realize we can't make it through. How i'm gonna inform her about it? even tho i always do what i have to do, yet i hate these moments! it will kill me to be aware that she feels very strongly and i'm still not sure about my own feelings and possibly it won't work! and if it doesn't, it's a big challenge to tell her in the way that she don't get hurt.

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    • But if you really like the girl, then there must be something that's keeping you around right?

    • Sure! right! in this condition, when i like a girl, most likely the emotion would be deepened than distant. That's why the option "Concerned" is the second long shot.
      Most likely when i like a girl and they like me back but probably more furiously and stronger. Which it only means they developed the further feeling quicker than me. It would only be exciting and flattering. Not a turn off.

  • well this could be a bit difficult.
    but it all comes down to you.
    you have to be honest with yourself, and look deep down in your heart, and ask yourself, do you really love this girl as much as you know you can. or if there is something holding you back to give a 100% of your emotions to her.
    Because if she is getting more and more emotional and into the relationship, it's just a sign to show how comfortable, committed and contented she is being with you. If you're getting turned off or uncomfortable, then the question should be rightly put to you. Do you love this girl enough to be committed as much as you can. And at this point in your life, what sorta relationship or partner do you desire, marriage potential kind or a kind to just pass the time?

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  • Sorry I can't comment. Thought I can say that it sucks when a guy is putting more effort into a freindship than the girl is.

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  • Yes, it could. Dating is ridiculous but it definitely can be this way. I am not sure if there is a good solution yet. I also have fallen victim to this with girls I have liked.

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    • What is it about it that would turn you off?

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    • Not sure what you mean.

    • Just seems like if you have been together this long, one shouldn't be ahead of the other. You should be in the same place emotionally.

  • It may lead to disappointments and misunderstandings, even to a break up.

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