What does it mean when people say "you have to put yourself out there"?

when people tell you "you have to put yourself out there" when the fact that i dont really date, haven't had a serious relationship etc, what do they mean by that?

I dont get it, i go to parties, im part of a football team, i soscialize. I dont necessarly socialize a lot, but i aboslutly go out and do stuff. Even when i do that i rarely if ever meet guys i see as potential dating partners. They guys i have met who i thought "i would date him" they either 1) dont show any interest or 2) are taken. I also get people telling me i just have to try, or that i got too high standars (which is just stupid)

So im not sure what they mean by that?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you're doing exactly that. It seems you are socialising. Maybe not in quite the right places.

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  • They mean for you to do exactly what you're already doing. You're just like me: unlucky :(

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What Girls Said 1

  • They mean you have to act more available. Sometimes people give off a vibe of being unavailable without knowing it. You might come off as not interested in a relationship, not interested in a guy, like you already have a boyfriend, some guys might think you're a lesbian, you might seem emotionally unavailable, or you might have closed off body language or sit on your phone too much during social situations. You might not have any of these problems or you might have a few. The point is there's something standing in the way between you and a relationship, and you have to act more available if you want to move past it

    Acting available could mean you flirt more with people you don't know, have one more drink than you should so you can relax enough, put your phone away for the night, wear a shorter skirt (shorter, not skimpy), put a touch of makeup on, learn to laugh at jokes... It's really dependent on your personality and what you're comfortable with

    About a year ago, I met a friend who started taking me out to bars and clubs, so I had to learn how to be more available and friendlier to people in general and potentially a romantic interest (still waiting for the right one). What I do is leave my phone in the car so I'll be forced to socialize. I've started wearing heels and clothing that make me feel (and look) more attractive. I've even started doing a little bit of makeup. No I haven't found a guy yet, but I've gotten much closer after putting myself out there than I was sitting at home with my cat

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