How should I let a guy know that I am looking for something serious and not just hooking up?

Some weeks ago I got to know a guy that I really had a great time with. We were already writing each other for about 3 months before meeting (found each other due to mutual friends on social media). After being out, dancing+drinking with friends, he came over to my place for a while, we talked a lot+ended up kissing. I had to leave for a weekend trip with my siblings at 6 am... that is when he took a cab to his friends place. He was just in town for an evening... he lives about 4 hours from my place. He stayed in touch right away, told me various times that he really had a great time+also wanted me to come visit him. I had no time at that moment because my bother was still in town visiting me. It then turned out that he had to go to Europe (he wanted to go in summer, but due to personal reasons he resheduled+went earlier than planned). He is there now since about 2 weeks and will stay until mid march. He stays in touch, sends messages, pictures, voice messages and so on... more or less every day.
Now he told me that since his flight back home will go through the city I am living in, he wanted to ditch his connecting flight and stay with me for some days... and then get a new flight a few days later. I would really like to see him, since I had a great time with him... and I want to get to know him better, spent some time together and not just write, text etc. But could letting him stay at my place send a wrong signal?

About 1,5 years ago I got out of a long term relationship, where I found out that he cheated on me for most of the time. I went out with some guys ever since, but till now I got to the point where I really want to start dating seriously again. My question is: how do I make it clear to him that I am not just looking to hook up, without sounding creepy or coming off as needy/too direct etc? I know that I still have to see if we are really getting along etc... but in general when would you say is the time to "tell someone what you are looking for"?


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What Guys Said 2

  • "Hey just to let you know, I'm looking for something serious... nothing against people who hook up but that's not for me."

    Just be direct, no need to delay.

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  • Use your words. :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just tell bring it up to him. Ask him what he's looking for and then proceed on telling him that you want to be exclusive with someone.

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