How can I get my boyfriend to trust me enough to open up to me emotionally?

We just became official this past weekend after a few weeks of dating. That night he really opened up to me about his fears with me (on his own), and one of his biggest fears is that he would be too boring for me, and he doesn't want to be a stepping stone for me. He sounds really concerned that I will one day change my mind and bow out of our relationship. That night I saw a very different side to him that really helped me feel connected to him. He was romantic and very sensitive. I felt like I got to see his heart, where he often is more distant and plays up the "masculine" card a lot. I saw him the next day and he seems so stiff, again... and behavior like that actually makes me a little insecure. I should note, he's the one who asked for us to commit. I wanted it too, but I didn't force it by any means.
Anyways, he just won't show me a lot of affection, he won't hold my hand in public. As I said, he's very stiff. When we were parting ways after we made our relationship official. I told him that it's very important in a relationship to communicate when someone needs time do something alone. Like, he is studying for a really important license for work, and I told him that it's okay if he has to do that and not see me. He commented back by saying he's going to have to try and not be clingy right now, so he's not exactly concerned about needing space. I didn't quite catch on at first, but the following day I told him that he doesn't need to worry about that, because I like him and I want to spend time with him. He kind of acted like he never said it and sort of brushed me off. That didn't feel super great for me because I was trying to be open with him.

So my question is, how can I show him that I am here for the long haul? Maybe it's too soon to expect him to open up so much that he can get hurt, so should I just remain consistent? Be there and care for him? What are the thoughts?

Also, I know I could just talk to him about it, but I also don't want to cause him to start overthinking his actions this early on. I want to give us enough time to warm up to each other, and if we don't then yes, let's discuss it.


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  • Just tell him and try to make him understand that you like him, that your not going anywhere, and that your always there for him. When he does open up make sure you look him in the eyes and let him know that you appreciate when he opens up.


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