How to remove attachment to girls?

In the past year I have grown an increasing desire to crawl out of my shell and be more of a social person. For the most part, I've been successful. The only snag is that I can't talk to girls without sounding creepy or awkward. I don't know what to say or how to act or even how to look at them the right way. As such, I receive zero attention from them, not even eye contact. I'm not bad looking from my perspective, but I definitely am on the scrawny side (120 pounds and 5'10")

It it just infuriates me to see other guys do it so effortlessly. I feel growing resentment for the current situation, but for the most part, I think I know what I'm doing wrong: I care too much. Apparently some good advice is that you need to not care as much and you need to remove your attachment from women and live independently for the time being.

My my issue is: having never experienced a relationship and having my heart broken last year by the girl I liked getting with someone else, it's incredibly difficult for me to let go of both her and the prospect of love in general. Does this mean I won't ever experience it, or is not caring about it the only way to act normal around girls?


Most Helpful Girl

  • try talking to more than one girl and dividing your attention between more than one person or building yourself up more before you date. I know a guy who looks like you - he is over 6 feet tall and looks like he is 120 pounds - and he is fairly popular with woman - one girl flirted with him - and another sat beside him during class because she wanted to spend time with him


Most Helpful Guy

  • I was very shy in high school. I had female friends, two of which I still keep in contact today. But when it came to dating, I was the nerdy type.

    In the summer after graduation, I made a decision. When I started college, in a far away city, I was not going to be so shy. It was never comfortable, and still is not sometimes, but I became not shy.

    What I suggest you do is forget about trying to look at a girl as a potential sex partner. Look at them as just a person. Say hi. Think of them like your sister or your best friend's sister. Practice talking to as many women as you can, including old ladies. Trust me, an 80 year old woman that you smile at, say hello, and ask her how her day is will love it. Your only goal is to make them smile.

    It becomes easier with practice.


What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • It's not because you care too much and other guys don't. It's because when you talk to a girl you are so self-conscious that you can't even begin to hear her. If you really cared, if you were able to truly listen to girls and enjoy their company, they would recognize that and you wouldn't be asking this question.

    My advice: stop thinking about yourself, just learn to have a conversation. Start with "Hi, Susan, how was your weekend?" "Hey Gary, how's it going?" In a few months your life will change.

  • Start small and practice talking to girls that you aren't totally crazy about. Don't mislead anyone , just practice talking to them and building up your confi