Guys is it a deal breaker if your girlfriend doesn't want to have kids?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Kinda, I mean if I really liked her it would be hard for me to just "let her go", or move on, but I want kids, and if she didn't want them it'd be hard to accomplish that, don't you think?

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What Guys Said 32

  • If I want kids, yes it is a deal breaker. Those who say it's okay, many times do want them, but think they can just ignore that because they love the other person. Many times it comes back to haunt them and they try to convince their partner to change. This breaks up a lot of relationships. Others stay and agree to have the kid, but later on resent it and that doesn't make for much of a relationship. There are consequences, good and bad, for our decisions and if we don't consider these potential consequences, it can be bad.

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  • For me, yes, it's actually tied as the number one deal breaker for me and I would breakup with a girlfriend (she wouldn't even make it to the girlfriend stage to be honest) no matter how well things are going.

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  • Unconditionally yes.
    I am not sure I'll ever have kids. I expect I won't. But I'm not against it, and I want that option there.
    If she doesn't want kids, every, then I want nothing to do with her, in any way, romantically.

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  • It depends how you look at it. Personally I'm not very good with kids on sole ground that I'm a rather strict individual, plus I get annoyed rather easy and kids are a great source of annoyance. However in the same time you have to look at it logically, we essentially are born into this world and we die once we run out of time. But here is the pickle, what happens to everything you worked for in this life? Everything you ever collected? What happens to everything that you own? This is where kids are a rather good thing as you get to pass on your belongings and therefore everything you worked for in life isn't simply swept away by the Government and divided to pay for welfare. I personally have major beef with welfare programs, granted how they are ridiculously abused. Come on some folks on welfare drive BMW X5's and here they are telling the government they don't have any money and poor as mice... Yep right.

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  • I personally feel like it would be.
    raising kids and starting a family has been an ultimate dream of mine for a long time and unfortunately I couldn't just give that up.
    I'd totally be open to adopting though if that was the issue. :D

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  • it would have been when I was 20.
    But I have been snipped 17 years ago. So now I can point my cock at anyone... the chamber is empty... thankfully...
    3 boys is enough...

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  • If she doesn't want to have kids, then she is not likely to be my girlfriend in the first place, but even if I would date an girl like that, our relationship is not going to have an future.

    tvtropes.org/.../BabiesEverAfter

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  • For me personally - yes. I wouldn't rush her, but she must be wanting one at some point in the future.

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  • No, there are plenty of guys who don't want children. When you meet a guy, you should mention this very soon to avoid wasting your time and his. No shame in just asking "Do you want children? I don't."

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  • Plenty of us also don't want kids having a family's a lot to take on restrictions , cost and time. Many guys and girls don't want to take that on in fact the numbers been increasing for quite some time plus you have the whole alien growing in you thing to deal with added on to that.

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    • Most guys who don't want kids are not looking for something serious, unsurprisingly.

  • well, I had a vasectomy, so it's more of a dealbreaker if she does want kids.

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  • Quite the opposite. I actually prefer women who don't want kids.

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  • For some guys it is for some it isn't.

    For me though? it's not a deal breaker at all. Never really enjoyed being near kids. I like my peace and quiet, and you just never know how that kids gonna behave as they grow up. They also tend to be loud and pestering which would do my head in, in no time.

    I'm only 18 though so i don't know if it'll change when i'm older.

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  • it can be. at the same time, a lot of girls who are saying that when they are younger change their mind once they get past their party phase and become more mature and responsible.

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  • I consider it a prerequisite to date a woman seriously.

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  • no its not a deal breaker cause i dated a girl who just wanted to adopt a kind or just not have any. but during our she changed her mind about it and wanted to have some. but it could also depends on the guy as well

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  • Depends on the guys. Some guys want kids and some guys don't. I think it is a topic that should be discussed for sure.

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  • Depending on the reason. If the woman can't have children, or is financially unable to provide for a child, or something along those lines, I would be fine with it. There's always a choice to adopt a kid, who would benefit from you not having a children and caring for them instead.

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  • Well yea especially since I want a family.

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  • yes.

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  • when I'm looking for that someone then yeah it a deal breaker

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  • When it comes to settling down it is for me.

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  • maybe, i dont know depends how much i love her. i want kids though

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  • I dont want kids either so I'm cool with it

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  • That's what I'd call a deal maker. Are there more who don't want any? If so, where could I find them?

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  • Yes.

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  • Depends what type of guy he is.

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  • nope. its okay. but not preferrable

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  • No not all men want the resposnablety

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  • Yes, it is.

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What Girls Said 5

  • If he really wants children and family, then yes I am afraid it would be a big deal breaker. Children and marriage are probably the biggest deal breakers in a relationship. You should be clear with him your intentions and feelings, so he can decide whether he does truly want a family or not.
    Though I am sure you will find love with someone who also shares your values.

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  • I don't think it's a deal breaker if BOTH agree on not having kids... what is a deal breaker for one is not a deal breaker for the other..

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    • Its a positive if the other also doesn't want kids.
      But yes if you completely disagree on something as big as that it's a deal breaker.

  • A different opinion about kids is not something to take lightly. I recently ended my marriage because we had different intentions for having kids. i think he hoped for me too change my mind while dating him, then later he said he wouldn't mind not having them after I told him I really didn't want any. I ended it because I know he would resent me for it in the future.

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  • For some it is for others, not so much. If you are sure of this you need to be upfront with the guy and let the chips fall where they may.

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  • If a guy wants kids then of course it would be a deal breaker to be with someone who didn't. It wouldn't be fair to either of them if they stayed together.

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    • It's an deal breaker in the long run, not in the short run, so it's also depends on if the guy is looking for something serious, if not then he might date her, for some time.

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    • @beautifulangel76 tell that to all the people who constantly change their partners anyway. Personally I don't see much point in it too, but there are many people who are not staying with their partner until death do them part those days.

    • @Berethor I know but things happen you fall out of love or realize the person you're with wasn't who you thought they were.

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