Do nice guys finish last?

Is this myth true, cause I fall into this category. We really get a bad wrap for this, I don't think it's fair. Let me know how you feel about it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have explained and re-explained this but I'll continue to do it until "nice guys" get it:

    You don't finish last for being nice. You "finish last" by relying on basic human kindness as your only "selling point" to women, thinking that simply being kind is enough to win a person over. It isn't. It isn't because "girls love assholes", it's that girls love guys who stand out; who have multidimensional personalities beyond being nice and willing to hold a door. Sure being nice is awesome, but so is confidence; so is a strong set of personal opinions; so is passion; a good sense of humor; physical attractiveness - all of these things build up a partner worth dating.

    Killing them with kindness doesn't work in the dating world because it doesn't necessarily set you apart. It isn't that being nice isn't a good quality, but if it's your only good quality and you're otherwise too shy, lacking in self esteem, negative, etc, it isn't going to make a good case for you if you're standing up against a genuinely down to earth, confident, guy.

    That's the real reason why nice guys "finish last" in their books.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're unnattractive and lack assertiveness then yeah.

    Also if you're a relationship oriented guy. This is because any girl you date will probably have had more sexual partners than you and you will technically finish last in the sense that you only get a chance with her AFTER she has already slept around and that when you do date her she will make you wait longer and put in more effort before being willing to sleep with you.

    Meanwhile the "badboys" probably got into bed with her on the first date without having to put in any effort.

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    • A girl upvoted this?😮
      Normally I get downvoted for these kind of opinions.
      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    • @lumos
      Well you identify as demisexual, right?

      If so, that would make sense that you would have a low number.

    • Also age factors into it, so if he's older than it also makes sense his number would be higher.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 13

  • Ok so there's a difference between being nice, and being a "NiceGuy™".
    A NiceGuy™ is basically like this:
    - Pretty much thinks women should fall in love with him/have sex with him because he did the bare minimum of what's required in terms of human decency. I. e. by being a woman's friend, holding the door open for her, and generally by being nice/gentlemanly towards her. He expects this is her meal ticket to getting what he wants with her.
    - A NiceGuy™ never actually expresses his feelings or desires for said girl. He hopes she'll just get the hint because he's being "nice.
    - As a side note, if you're being nice to someone just because you're hoping you'll get sex or love in return, you're not really nice. In fact, I'd say you're pretty selfish.
    - He doesn't have a backbone. Usually lacks self-confidence. Thinks that niceness is the same as always agreeing with what other people say or do, even if you secretly disagree. Simply because he doesn't want conflict. This is of course, misleading and destructive in the long run, because you can't always be on everyone's side and agree on everything.
    - He gets mad at girls when they "friendzone" him, because he thinks he deserves sex for being nice.
    - He rants online about how he's going to become an asshole because "that's what girls want" (hint: he's already an asshole based on the fact that he's only being nice to get laid and not because he's actually a nice person).
    - He whines about how "nice guys finish last" and that only douchebags get girls (lol).
    - Basically is a dick 100% but thinks that him labelling himself as nice somehow justifies his behavior.

    If you fall into the above category, then yes, you will finish last. Because no girl wants a whiny, self-important, self-entitled twat who thinks he deserves sex just because he was "nice" (i. e. did the BARE MINIMUM that's EXPECTED by anyone who has had a decent upbringing). You don't get a cookie for doing the bare minimum. You get a cookie for actually being an interesting and genuine person.

    However, if you don't fit into that category and you're truly a good guy, then please avoid calling yourself a NiceGuy™, and also refrain whining about how no girl wants you because you're sooo nice. It's not attractive. And girls can sense that sort of desperation and bitterness from miles away, which is usually why they reject such guys. Not because they're supposedly "nice".

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    • "He expects that this is his meal ticket to getting what he wants with her."**

  • I don't agree witg the very first post... fyi that is a really wordy post that may matter and be true for the one who posted it but obviously is not true for everyone... I personally love nice sweet guys... i dont want a guy who is lacking basic courtesy... if you know how to treat a woman and treat her good than thank God for u... the world needs more nice guys in it... I believe that the world is gettibg a messed up vision if love, many think if someone says they love u thats love... Love is an action not a word. So there are stupid people that wanna waste their time in toxic relationships or just with general jerky guys because they look nice or make them feel good every once in a while... but nice sweet guys are the true gold because your what the messed up world needs... keep being u never change and i promise you will come out on top... it ay take longer because u probably have a good head on your shoulders and dont compromise your ethics but you will. just have faith

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  • guys that feel sorry for themselves finish last

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  • Nice guys should want to finish last because if you're the last one that means your partner has chosen you to be one for the rest of your lives.

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  • NO, it's a myth, my man is a nice guy, he is a gentleman, he respects my family, and I am a diva and I LOVE MY MAN...

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  • i don't think so.. nice guys are like gems nowadays

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  • Apparently on gag they do.

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  • I would say that nice guys do not finish last. I think they are hard to find. If you find a nice guy consider yourself lucky.

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  • it depends on what you are finishing last in

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  • Not in my opinion but I have found a lot of guys label themself a nice guy... when that's not at all how I'd label them so I guess it depends on what your definition is. I think bad boys and good guys are a very very very small percent of the male population. Most fit neither of those roles.

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  • If you're too nice you finish last.

    Nice people are prey for manipulative people. They take advantage of your kindness and politeness

    It's ok to be nice, as long as you're assertive at the same time. Set boundaries with people , so they know you won't tolerate anyone crossing them. Never extend your kindness to everyone. Not everyone deserves your compassion and kindness. Never say " yes" to others, if it means you're saying " no" to yourself. Don't care what people think of you. Be bold and forward. Exert yourself, and don't be scared to speak your mind

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  • it hs nthing to do with apperance

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  • They might, but they'll be in the most beautiful relationship or marriage.

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What Guys Said 14

  • The whole thing is a hoax of people not understanding each other. What women want isn't bad guys, it's the assertiveness, confidence and supposed stability of their lives they want. Nice guys tend to expect special treatment because they treat someone good, while treating people good should be the normal thing to do, as well as them (for the most part) being passive, and not actually showing affection, more than this "nice treatment".

    The only way nice guys finish last, is because they aren't trying in the first place / letting their feelings be known.

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  • I agree with most of what @RJGraveyTrain said. I don't know if you are the king of guy she mentioned. You may not be the guy that has nothing besides being nice. She is spot on when she says women much prefer a confident man as long as it doesn't become arrogance. There is a fine line there. The other things she mentioned are very important as well, but you don't have to be all of them. @RJGraveyTrain is a wise young lady.

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    • @RJGraveyTrain Cute! You are what I said. With the way most your age think they know everything and certainly seem to know not much at all, you stand out. I find that impressive and enjoy running into those like you. I'm not just being a "nice guy", which I am, I'me being honest.

    • Well I appreciate the compliment, that was very sweet.

  • What do you consider a nice guy. The nice guys who finish last are those who are willing to do things they don't want to or may feel they have to for the approval of others. They act nice for the reason to be accepted not because they won't to and yes there's a significant difference between the two. The 'nice guy' believes that by doing things for a girl or just being nice will allow them to be accepted by the girl and they believe that she SHOULD be happy to be with him for all the nice things he's done for her. in other words is a passive way of wanting to control her. Which wouldn't be appealing and isn't admirable. That's the kind of nice guy who would finish last. If anything though just be your natural self and don't go out of your way to please others.

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  • Well, that depends on what you call nice.
    I got a problem with that word.
    I think people dont mean good guys = nice guys. Nice guys is more like a synonym for pushover now.
    And sure pushovers, always finish last.
    Good or bad, only men who are assertive finish first.
    Just coz ur a bad boy doesn't mean you get laid. Most of those finish last, or dont finish at all!! But they are then, just called losers, not bad boys.
    And nice guys who are pushovers finish last. Decent guys who know how to stand up for themselves, have no problems

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  • It's not a myth and don't listen to ANY women on here who says it's not true. They are just trying to be the good person.

    Women do NOT appreciate personality traits such as empathy, sensitivity, honesty, loyalty, morale integrity, emotionally supportivness, faithfulness, and willingness to compromise.
    Nice guys often have some or all of these personality traits.

    If you have not been noticing women are attracted to the very opposite. Women go for stupid stuff like obnoxiousness, social status, height. They will go to a bar and the loudest idiot that is the center of a pack of dudes yelling at a tv about sports will be the one they like.

    Then they complain that all guys cheat and are jerks.

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    • "Women do NOT appreciate..."
      Lol stop. If you're not a woman you don't get to tell what we don't appreciate. Sit down. If this was the case, then that would mean that the majority of men in the world are assholes, which isn't true. Plenty of good guys are in relationships and marriages.
      So not only is your ASSUMPTION offensive to women, but in fact, also to men. Because you're basically saying that the majority of men are dicks and that the nice guys are special little snowflakes. Haha.

    • I've seen enough women to know how it goes, alright. Do you know who is the guy who gets the most attention from girls in grade school and high school?
      The toughest, the most popular, the biggest, and the bullies. Think about this.
      Lets say we lined up 30 single women. 10 beautiful models, 10 tall women, 10 women of authoritative positions such as police officer, lawyer, dentist.

      then we put 50 men in front. 5 male models, 5 basketball players (semi-pro), 5 well off individuals that dress formal and the rest just random everyday people.
      each woman reads everything about the guy like a giant bio.

      the conclusion. The 15 special males would walk away with the special women. there is 15 women left to choose if they want to date and guess what. ONLY a few would actually bother. The rest would rather just walk away without a date.
      Cause let's just face it a guys height is the essence of a great relationship. $20 for a stool to change a bulb is a lot of money these day.

    • Haha ok

  • No sir, nice guys do not always finish last. But being straight forward with you if you're being a "nice guy" and a girl shuts you down then maybe you're just looking for the wrong type of girl. I've been a nice guy all of my life and momma raised me right. All throughout junior high and high school I had the biggest crush on this one girl and I just took L's constantly. Once I graduated though I simply changed my target and now I've been with my girlfriend for about a year.

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  • Nice guys who don't know their way with women and what they like, then yes.

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  • Nice guys finish last, and so do bad boys, because REAL MEN ALWAYS WIN!!!

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  • Depends on the guy

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  • Weak willed guys finish last, be persistent and brave. If your nice your nice, infact go up to a girl and call her fat, that's not nice, see if it works. Tip- see what women say to you as a test of your confidence, or a way to gauge your interest, if a girl likes you and says something like your too nice, and then gets happy when you get sad, she's just got the confirmation you like her she needs.

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  • It's just the way it is

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  • Fuck stereotypes, be yourself and don't try to put up a facade.

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  • Today, ALL GUYS finish last. Think about it...

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  • it's true that women like abusive men. They like all kinds of evil

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    • No I would say more 'weak guys finish last' guys who don't show persistence, who are scared of what she thinks of him, who are over sensitive to what he may deem an insult and somebody who gives up without a fight, look... teen girls like bad boys because they are inexperienced and stupid, Every girl you will meet has had a fling with a bad boy and then never again because they realised deep inside he is a very weak person, nice guy doesn't always equal nice, it may mean being weak framed or sensitive, a bit like a mommies boy, a nice guy would hear women like bad boys and then act like a bad boy, again because he is over sensitive and lacking self confidence.

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    • Nah don't FALSELY ACCUSE me you feminist. If equality is impossible, feminism should be DESTROYED COMPLETELY.

      Women should be kept as slaves. The feminist laws on wife-beating and marital rape should be repealed. Women should be forcefully married off either by arranged marriages or abduction (depending on which style of patriarchy you want). Women should not be allowed to talk back or disobey men... ... ... etc

    • Ignoring the ad hominem attacks... Women should absolutely hold doors open like slaves and give all their money (if any) to men. Why should we be expected to serve women? They should serve us!!

      You're a traitor to mankind. A trained feminist dog.

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