So it's your turn describe characteristics of a "nice guy" is he soft is he a pushover or a yes man?
Let me know , and be honest ! :)
Most Helpful Girl
Actually, I tend to go for the nice guy. Dicks/douchebags are a huge turn off. Even just a hint of it and I lose interest and respect. People tell me I'm too nice all the time, and I guess that makes me kind of naïeve or a doormat (either way you call it is kind of correct) but I would rather be that than someone who is anything else. being the nice person and being vulnerable to be taken advantage of doesn't make you weak, because people who remain nice after being taken advantage of are incredibly strong for not losing their heart.1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Guy
When I think of the negative kind of "nice" guy (in quotes), I think of a guy who is too eager to please.
He's not being as genuine as he thinks he's being since so much of his behavior is modified (subconsciously) to appeal to others. He tends to have a "reject' syndrome similar to a girl who is rejected a lot who thinks guys only go after "shallow bitches", e. g. He tends to likewise think girls only go after assholes. His view of the world tends to be extremely black and white and he overvalues his personality.
When I think of a genuine, compassionate kind of guy, he's different. He's not eager to please. He doesn't get upset if girls don't go after him. He's assertive but kind simultaneously.
I can paint the difference with an analogical scenario. I knew one of the negative "nice" guy types in quotes. He did kind things like wrap his jacket around girls he was crushing on. Yet watching his behavior, you can see that his whole mannerism was subservient and eager to please. He would chase after the girl he was crushing on with his jacket out in the air saying, "It's cold, please wear this!" It looked like he was her personal servant.
The strong kind of compassionate guy can still do largely the same thing and offer a girl his jacket. The difference is that he'd be walking alongside of her, not chasing her from behind, and he'd generally do this without uttering many words (maybe none at all). He maintains a sense of dignity and strength and independence in spite of his altruistic actions. From an external spectator's standpoint, such guys almost seem to be leading the girl in spite of their altruism with the girl tagging alongside of him.
It's a subtle difference but it makes all the difference to me. The "nice" guy I think about in quotes is not such a good thing. The kind guy can be strong and independent and not the slightest bit of a pushover. I avoid describing these guys as "nice" guys though since that term has become rather derogatory. I prefer to just say they are strong and compassionate.1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE