Is this girl's behavior a red flag?

Me and this girl get along but I notice she like back pedals for example she is the one who ask me out she gave me her phone number and then the next day texting me asking me when are we going on our "lunch date" I ended up taking her out for some beer and food it was fun then the next day she text me when are we going on our next lunch date?

So next week comes and we joke around like usual and I text our lunch date was fun let's go again this Friday and she replied "what do you mean it was just lunch". Umm WTF it made it awkward. Few weeks go by we hang out had our first kiss etc she had a kid she send me pictures of and the daughters smile makes my heart melt and I tell her this and it makes her smile etc.

So she sends me a pic of her kid again one night and I say how the pic of her and the girl I'm dating is playing my heart strings and she replied calm down it's just a picture of my kid you haven't met her...

There were other instances were she would be one way then she will do the same that was positive but will back pedal like OK it's a lunch date then it was just lumch

I'm I over thinking or is this a red flag for something major to come out of her in the future? It's only been 2 months


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like she has a sarcastic sense of humor and may be a little guarded. I can relate. In addition, she is a mom. She doesn't need you. She can handle herself. She chooses whether or not to be with you, so if you aren't into her or don't really like her sense of humor, she probably doesn't care. She has been puked on, peed on, pooped on and kept awake for days... Hence, she will probably never handle your feelings over something insignificant in a delicate manner.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaches lens, I can see why you might see these as red flags. I see it as fear (understandable) from a mother that has probably had her heart ripped out in the past and so when she feels herself falling for you, perhaps too quickly, she back pedals. This isn't indicative of a player, a tease, etc. Just someone that doesn't want to make the same mistakes again. Give her time.

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    • When we had our first kiss she text me later that day saying I'm contagious and I'm really good at what I do and I said I felt a connection she replied that's just lust that your feeling... really killed the good feelings I was having...

    • I understand why it killed the good feelings. I also understand, even if I don't condone it, why she said 'that's just lust that you're feeling'. She wants to believe that it's just lust because that makes it easy for her to not get too excited or committed to. Again, she's been on the dating merry go-round so much. This is my feeling at least, based on a lot of experience with single moms. (https://divorcedmoms. com/authors/chrisarmstrongcertifiedrelationshipcoach)

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think ur just over thinking what I really think is that she really loves you but she is trying to get herself together so that she can marry you and what it really is true love is what it is.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Around a quarter of the adult female population are on prescription psychiatric medications. Bipolar is common among women.
    In short: there is a lot of crazy out there.
    Proceed with caution.

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    • See I didn't want to say that out loud but it seems like she is bipolar... One day she is super sweet etc says hey love then the next I ask how's it going she replied "it's going" and then just says what's up and gives me this vibe like I'm bothering her. But the lunch date then her later saying it was just lunch really made me feel weird on the inside

  • You need to take it slow.

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