I ended a casual relationship a few weeks ago, but I can't stop thinking about him. What do I do?

I was in a casual relationship where I know I wasn't being treated the way I wanted to be. He would only talk to me when convenient for him and always made up excuses about why he was busy. After thinking about it I decided I'd had enough and in the spur of the moment I ended it via text.

After I did that he texted me almost immediately and said we should talk. he never ended up calling though and now I can't stop thinking about him. I feel like he's moved on.

Would it be really bad message him again or how can I move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • www.court-records.net/animationgk/miles-aha(e).gif

    You clearly still have huge feels about him.

    Firstly, get the wool out of your eyes and make no mistake; he clearly was just using you for sex. The problem here is that the sex was good and you are craving the feels that he gave you.

    A bigger problem is that until you get over him, every relationship you get with other guys will be doomed to fail if they don't give you as intense feels as this guy did. You will constantly be comparing the guys you are with this guy you needed things with until you find a guy who gives you stronger feels that you already have or you decide to "settle" for less.

    You need to think long and hard about why you ended it there when you did. He clearly took you for granted and he is only now trying to reach you because he is afraid of losing you. The problem is that he was never really commiting to you and was never planning on (otherwise he wouldn't have treated you the way you did).

    Focus on self improvement, not just your career but your lifestyle as well. Get stuck into being healthy, socialise with friend, look at other potential mates and get lost into your hobbies. It's going to take hard work but if you set your mind to it, you forget him and the feels will subside.

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What Guys Said 2

  • From a relationship coaches perspective, YES it would be really bad for you to text him again. We teach people how to treat us and if you continuously lean in for this guy after he didn't make you a priority and didn't reciprocate communication, you're essentially telling him that his behaviors are acceptable.

    I'm curious--when you think about him, WHAT do you think about? What are the good things that come to mind to make you constantly think about him?

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    • I don't think of anything in particular. But like little everyday things remind me of him.
      I think I don't necessarily want to get back with him, I just need closure on the whole situation. Advice?

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    • So you think of him when you're feeling lonely? That is actually a good sign because it VERY LIKELY means it's not really him on your mind, it's being with someone and he just happens to have been your last someone

    • thanks that makes me feel a bit better haha.

  • How long ago was his "we should talk" message. After three days, move on.

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    • Yeh it was like a week ago.
      Any tips on how to move on? Don't wanna use my usual strategy of rebounding...

    • Yeah forget rebounding. You could "rebound" into favorite other activities? Maybe hang out with girlfriends more, learn to cook something new, read a good book, ride a bike, binge watch something?

    • Thanks I'll give it a go.

What Girls Said 2

  • Some people do these to move on:
    1. Keep themselves busy
    2. Think about yourself, love yourself more.
    3. Exercise
    4. Focus on school or work
    5. Date someone else

    I don't think it's right to message him because if he didn't treat you the way you wanted to, then there is already a red flag. It may get worse if you do so. It depends on you.

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    • I agree!! focus on self love. i know its easier said than done because im trying to do the same :/

  • You made the right decision. You have feels. He doesn't. It's just one of those things you have to accept and move forward.

    He basically ghosted you. Don't contact unless it's to confront him because you're not going to get anything sentimental out of it.

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