Why hasn't he asked me out yet?

I'm talking to this guy for about 2 weeks from a dating website and we exchanged numbers. On paper, he's exactly what I'm looking for: has his shit together, enjoys his job, attractive, local, and is looking for a potential girlfriend. Conversation flows well and we send long messages, but there's only so much I can message someone, plus there's also the danger of running out of things to talk about on a date! He's even asked me for my FB,. There's been playful hints at crazy, fun dates but he's not yet suggested anything. Call me old fashioned but I do prefer for the man to step up and initiate the first date, he's certainly not been shy in requesting everything else (e. g. my FB and number). I like to be courted.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You could certainly drop hints: "Will I ever meet the mystery man?" "Maybe one day we'll have the chance to see if we get along as well in person!"

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    • The last one sounds good. Thanks for the advice.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Some guys are afraid of being too pushy and so they skirt a little before taking the final plunge.
    He may not have finished sounding you out yet.
    He may not have gotten the impression you want more or are ready yet.
    Either drop a hint, keep talking or leave it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • www.court-records.net/.../miles-crossed(c).gif

    Either two things. He doesn't know that you are interested in him or he doesn't have the balls to flat out make his romantic/sexual intentions clear.

    If he is that scared after you making the most obvious hints in the world and you are so insistent on not asking him out, then just move on.

    Questions like these asked by females are a bit bewildering. Has it not once come across your mind that many guys are just not confident enough to ask you girls out? Either way, it's really a personal attack so much but more of confusion on my part that many women don't realise this.

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  • I think it's wrong to let the guys do the steps. we are not in 1753 or earlier. all the woman want to be independent and stuft so why a guy should do this? Emanzipation means same rights for everyone not i pick to me their great stuff and their Rest i don't matters

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  • There has been times where the girl asked me out. Maybe you should try it out. No need to support the stereotype.

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  • Probably isn't interested enough to ask you out. Some guys like to flirt online with girls, feeling them out before they ask them out. He's probably not there yet with you.

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  • You gave him your number and he hasn't called you and asked you out yet? He's crazy. You gave him the signs and he's not biting so let him go. There's better out there. If he's not stepping up then he's not what u prefer anyways. You will most likely just get hurt in the end. And you intentions aren't pure so u kind of playing with fire.

    Why wait for him to come around there are plenty of guys who will initiae

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  • because he doesn't want to

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  • Maybe he knows what catfish is and is very careful about online dating.

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  • He hasn't wanted to yet.

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  • I don't know lol
    ask him why he hasn't...

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  • You women want equality, start making more of an effort.

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    • Priceless! hahah

    • Well it's true. It's so irritating how women are always going on about equality yet change their minds whenever it suits them. Or could it be that men and women are designed to do different roles after all?

  • Maybe he is fake?

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  • Clearly, you're going to have to put forth more effort than you are and take at least some initiative. Is it not OK to try a little harder, just as long as HE is still the one to try harder than you?

    I've never understood why women sit around and torture themselves instead of just getting over themselves and their ideals. If you're old-fashioned, you'd better be old-fashioned in the same sense that you're also willing to do housework, otherwise you're not old-fashioned at all, you're just picking and choosing what is easiest and most convenient for you. . . whatever option results in you not having to do as much work. A lot of women seem to want equality except when it comes to dating and sex, but sorry, it doesn't work like that anymore. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and pretend that you will do his housework and cook for him, because well, not every woman is a hypocrite.

    You might just have to prepare for the possibility that perhaps he isn't as old-fashioned as you are. Not a lot of younger men these days are because we're taught now that this lifestyle is a thing of the past and sexist towards women, that women are more than capable of "stepping up" themselves if they want something done.

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    • Blimey I knew this question would end up becoming a feminist debate and a dissection on equal rights. It's just a simple question on dating etiquette. It's attractive to me for a guy to step up and initiate a first date. If things go well, I'm more than happy to initiate 2nd or 3rd dates myself but for the first time round I believe the guy has to make the first move. If he doesn't have the balls or the interest, then I'll move on and no doubt find someone else.

  • it's a dating site, not "the one" site

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    • You never know who might be your next love interest, whether through online dating or not. And I don;t believe in the "One" and Soul Mates and all that rubbish hahah

    • thats the point though, you're just "dating", give it a rest

  • If he was interested, he would have asked you out already. The reason why he hasn't is because he's not that interested and happy to just have someone to talk to.

    The only reason why you haven't set any boundaries is because he's attractive... that is your downfall.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Well, I know how you feel and I can understand you and I can only confirm that you are doing the right thing especially being old school, high five for that. !!
    And yes it is bad to wait, but maybe you should just give him a hint, like oh tomorrow I will be at this mall, so if you casually see me don't be embarrassed to say hi :P it's sort of an indirect way to meet him in person.
    LOL
    Okay, but honestly, just be patient, wait, see what he has to offer, sometimes when i dated people online it took them months before they asked me out, and it's just normal, it's part of the online dating game, so nothing to worry about :) enjoy the chit chattings ;)

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  • give it time; my man and i met online, and we chatted for a month before we met in person... we used to send long messages back and forth, and reading his words was the highlight of my day.

    i like @OlderQAndWiser's suggestion for prompting him to ask you out. definitely give that a shot and let us know how it goes!

    good luck!!

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  • You might just find yourself waiting forever, and losing a potential partner.
    Why not just for once, drop your standards and ask him out.

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    • I can see your point, but I'm not dropping my standards :) I don't settle for less.

    • Show All
    • @asker you should ask him if you want to go out. Your being selfish by waiting for him to do so.

    • Why do women think everything needs to be served to them on a silver platter? You want him on a date take him up. He could very well think if he does ask you out he could rush things and get rejected. That way if he asks you have all the power, you can reject him if you want. On the other hand if you ask him out he has a chance to reject you and hurt you. No pain, no gain.

  • I would not be Facebook friends till you've met in person. Why be friends with a stranger because he is currently a stranger till you finally meet in person. Something seems wrong to me 2 weeks and he hasn't asked you out yet? I would say move on or ask him out and see how he responds. Make it a light easy date like bowling or dinner.

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  • Can't you ask him "do you think you'll ever want to take me on a date?"

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  • Tell him you'd Iove to meet him in person, so you'd like for him to invite you to a meet up, and see what he will do. The ball's in his court. You'd still have your "standards", but you'd also take initiative. Why wait to lose a great potential? Good luck 🌸

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    • I like this approach, yeah :) Thanks.

  • You can always mention being free on Saturday and see if he bites.

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  • It could be a lot of things.. he just wanted to take his time and make it right or wants to get to know you before meeting in person. Or ask him. He probably has reasons.. talk to him about it

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