Did I push her away or is she actually busy?

I am completely new to dating and it has been about 3 weeks since I have been seeing this girl. We have been on 4 dates (3 being her driving 30+ mins to me) so far with each one being better than the last. On the third I broke the touch barrier and after that she constantly wanted to hold hands and lock arms. On the 4th we kissed and fooled around for a few hours. All the signals of her being interested in me were there. Asked her when she would be free and she said she wouldn't be free until day X (she works two jobs with very odd hours and does a lot of volunteer work). Texted her the next day and she didn't respond. Called her up a few days later and we talked for a bit. Sent her a spur of the moment text later that day and she didn't respond. Called her the next day asking if she would still be available on day X and she said she may need to work depending on her boss. Told me to call back around X tomorrow. So I called her the next day and she informed me she had to work. She said she would be free on day Y.

Looking back at my actions I did realize that every time I talked to her was to ask her out instead of just making small talk. Should I just give her space and wait for her to contact me? What should I do? I am so confused.


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  • Wow, that is a lot of you initiating contact with her! Girls need space too, even if they really like you. I get that you like her a lot but that is a bit over bearing, take it slower.

    If she doesn't return your call or reply to your text, it's because you haven't given her a chance. She said she was busy and she has strange hours, so you have to understand her availability too.

    There is no need to make small talk on the phone or text, that is what face to face dates are for. Save the talking for then.

    Wait for her to contact you. Keep yourself as busy as she is with your life, do something exciting with your friends or on your own. You will have something to say when she asks what you have been doing. Only after a certain amount of time should you try to set up a date again, at this point it feels like almost two weeks would be a good cooling period.


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