When do you cut yourself off from dating other people?

So I've been seeing this guy (we'll call him Doug) and I really like him. We've been seeing each other for a couple months now, and I want to have the exclusive talk.

However, Doug's behaviour lately is making me wonder if something is up. He cancelled all of our dates last week (we had agreed to 2) due to hurting himself and a family obligation (or so he said, more on that later).

Doug's pretty clumsy and fell hard on an already injured foot, so he cancelled our date last Thursday a couple hours before I was supposed to come pick him up.

We were also supposed to meet up on Sunday, but then Doug cancelled (on the Friday the same time he cancelled the 1st date) due to a family dinner that day.

Then when I asked Doug on Monday when he is free, he didn't answer my question and instead told me he was feeling sick (like flu sick).

I just received a message from a guy online (both me and Doug are still online). I was planning on having the talk with Doug when we were meeting up on Friday, but he cancelled. I'm beginning to wonder if he is losing interest. :(

On Sunday when I asked Doug how his family dinner was, he said he had just gone out for a bit. But said the dinner was good.

The message I received was really nice and it's definitely someone I would talk to otherwise. But I'm not sure if I should message this guy back or wait to see how things go with Doug? I've been online for over a year now :(

Update: So I wanted to give some insight into how Doug and I interacted before.
Basically we've been on about 7 dates, so that's pretty much one date per week. Each time we went out he said he had good time and wanted to see me again. He made plans several times with me as well during this time. Just this past week was when he cancelled on me.

We still text several times a day. He calls me honey, sweetie, sends me kissy faces. The cancelling has me confused as to his interest in me.
I'm usually the one who initiates. Though I feel it's because I'm the early riser, he usually works later. I'm up around 7am each day, he's not up until 10am. On days when I don't initiate, he usually checks in to see how I'm doing.

Though he hasn't been clear on when we are going to see each other again, which has be concerned also. When I asked him when he was free on the weekend, he said he would know his schedule for this week, but then when I asked again on Monday about it, he had the flu.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First off... you lost me at "online"... you should already know thats a bad route... so unless you are faking your (25-29) and are actually like 16, there should be no reason for you to be online.
    Secondly, in the online dating world, at least when i decided to see what the hype was, I found out the people have very little patience... if it doesn't seem interesting, they move around Quick, especially the girls.
    Plus, like i always tell people, if you decide to meet someone online, understand that you aren't. the. only. one.

    • I live in a small town. I'm 27 and it's hard to meet people. I'm not much into the bar scene and most of my friends are married. I've tried joining clubs but there's not much around. So I've been online trying to meet new people while doing other things socially.

    • Show All
    • @MCA-petdetective Thank you. And thats why a lot of people dont get why i am the way i am online... they think my "attitude" is something i do online only... lol... im actually Nice online... i dont take my frustrations out on innocent strangers... i take it to the morons who frustrate me lol.
      @Asker... small town huh... thats even better, it means that there are people you have know for almost all of your life... you got it good.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Accept the other date. And think nothing of it. Stop reaching out to Doug for dates. Let him reach out to you. If you are available when/if Doug wants to go out again, go. You need to find the path and mate who's best for you.
    Just because you have a job interview at one company doesn't mean you stop going on job interviews with other companies.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It's hard to know based off a few paragraphs. You never said how you interacted the previous months or how often. He doesn't seem super interested by what you said of course. I'm not interested in dating multiple people in general. I'm really picky and doubt I would agree to meet many people off a site. I would ultimately not talk to a new person based on how I felt with the person though. I wouldn't need a title or an agreement to not want to look around. My feelings would be what is most important.

  • if gf's start putting me down or withhold sex that is the end


What Girls Said 4

  • if you are getting a message from him that he is a flake and doesn't seem too interested, you should let him know that and then tell him that since you feel that way that you are going to start seeing other people

  • You are free until you both agree that you are not.

  • Move on, and message back the other guy. He doesn't want to be exclusive apparently.

  • When you want to