A widow'ed friend just asked me out to dinner, would you go?

There was a gal 2 maybe 3 years older than me in College with whom I became very close. She was married and our relationship was strictly platonic, and although she was attractive, I was fine with that! I believe its healthy to develop non-sexual relationships with the opposite gender, as they often have different perspectives in life and can help you see problems from other angles.

Anyway, although we ended up with the same type of job in the same city a few years later, we lost touch. These things happen. Out of the blue she messaged me and asked how life was and if I wanted to go out to dinner some day this next week. I said sure, not thinking anything of it, after all who doesn't like catching up with an old friend?

Then, a facebook post that she was tagged in popped up of someone remembering her late husband. I had no idea, apparently he had passed about 6-9 months ago, went pretty early in life which is pretty darn sad.
I also reached out to another female in our study/friend group who also ended up in our city, and this gal had not reached out to that female, just to me.

Normally I wouldn't worry too much, but I have just started dating this girl, and although things aren't super serious right now, I think we're pretty monogamous at this point. Further, wouldn't this widow'ed lady be kinda vulnerable? I don't want to take advantage or anything. Am I being dumb to over think this?


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What Girls Said 1

  • For one of my electives in college, I took a Sociology course that was on the study of death and dying (Don't judge me, all of the other elective classes were full and it was an easy A). One of the things that I learned is that often people who have lost someone feel very alienated by the people they know best. Most of us have no idea what to say when someone loses a spouse or a child, and the fear of saying something wrong causes us to say nothing at all. She may be attempting to get a life again, and assuming that you don't know the circumstances, she may feel that you are one of the few people who won't feel awkward around her. I seriously doubt she is trying to find a new man of her spouse died 6-9 months ago. She probably just needs a normal friendship.


What Guys Said 2

  • Well you did say you were close in college and your relationship was strictly platonic.
    Maybe she remembers you as someone who she can rely on for support?
    If anything explain this to the girl you're seeing. Be open with her and tell her about your old friend and what's happened to her. Let her know you don't feel like that about your friend and it's only platonic. Hopefully she trusts you for your honesty about it all and you wouldn't do anything stupid.

  • Nothing wrong with them as long as they've had time to grieve, I'm sure she's mostly over it by now. Yes I would go.


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