He is married, how do I respond?

I started a job 3 months ago the same time as a male colleague who is a few years older than me. Over time we have chatted and I have found myself attracted to him. I get from his body language that he likes me too. He gazes at me when he talks or he will come over to me and talk nonsense just so he can speak to me. The problem is he is married with 3 children.

I have to shut my feelings off for him and act as though they don't exist. He makes things awkward as I will walk in the office and I catch him staring at me or he will go in to the kitchen when I go. I don't think he is happy at home as he moans about his children and how much they cost and he sighs at how he has the children on his own at weekends as his wife works shifts. Today I got flustered as he came near me, I know I cannot involved but how can I deal with this knowing he fancies me too.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm that's a tough one, he may just want someone to talk to, usually I find women easier to talk to about relationship problems or any problems for that matter. Try listening but nothing more, if he starts to make advancements, tell him exactly what these people said that there can be nothing between the two of you. Also that if he is having this feelings to talk to his wife, because what he is doing is not fair to her nor their kids.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your a strong woman who can control yourself... that being said even if he had feelings for u- there are more people involved than just you two... think of how heart breaking it would be if you were in his wifes position... Married to a man with 3 children then somone comes in and swoons him away leaving your family torn apart... Just because your into somone who may be into you- it doesn't make it right. Not judging you girl i get that its hard I've been there myself but just somthing to think about

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What Guys Said 2

  • Tell him straight up that there will never be anything between you and him since he has three kids and a wife to whom he must remain loyal.

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  • Run. Head for the hills, quit your job and change your number.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Simple tell him you aren't interested in a man who's will to cheat on his wife

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  • You could wear ugly clothes to work to send the message you don't want anything from him or you could wear a fake wedding ring and talk about your boyfriend or you could try to date other guys in the hopes of getting over this forbidden crush.

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