Is it bad if I go on a tinder date when I'm dating someone else?

We've been dating a month and a half but he hasn't made it exclusive. I've told him I don't want to see other people, but I'm starting to feel like he's getting too comfortable with that. He's never asked me to be completely exclusive and I feel like things will never progress.

Anyways, this guy on tinder is like a 10/10. He's in his residency, tall, blonde, athletic, cute smile, family guy, and seems nice. Is it bad if I go on a tinder date with him?

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Other
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
The thing is, I would be perfectly content with just dating him. However, I feel like I should keep my options open just so I don't put all my eggs in one basket. I'm sleeping with the guy I'm dating but I wouldn't sleep with anybody else of course.
He asked me to be his girlfriend last night so this is kinda irrelevant now lol thanks for all of the opinions tho

0|0
1025

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you want to date the other guy, then you probably don't particularly have strong feelings for the first guy. You may like the first guys attributes on paper, but I doubt you feel a great connection otherwise. Maybe not though.

    "The thing is, I would be perfectly content with just dating him. However, I feel like I should keep my options open just so I don't put all my eggs in one basket"

    Using the word content sounds very casual. I would ask yourself what you want instead of what you're content with. You want to keep your options open because you two don't have an agreed description identifying your relationship. I don't see anything wrong with a title Do you think that supersedes your feelings with him? Or maybe you would think officially saying "we're not in a relationship" then kissing another guy, and then saying "we're back together" is moral and feels satisfying because of the technicality. I feel like you seeing the other guy is either something you ultimately want or you're trying to use it as a leverage to fling poo in his face, because you really want him. Maybe the first guy isn't sure what he wants and you don't want to feel hurt if he's dating someone else. That's just part of the dating ritual now a days.

    I would go on the date if you don't feel much with the first guy. If you seriously just want him, I don't see the point in flirting and kissing another guy.

    Oh I see. You may also think you may not get the first guy so will get to know the second guy before he finds another girl? If you like the first guy and you trust your judgement with him liking you, then I would not have the new date. If he doesn't want a commitment after you ask him multiple times, he's probably isn't sure what he wants (wants to date to see more possibilities) or doesn't want to be committed in general. I hope I wasn't confusing. I feel like the isn't enough information for me to answer easily.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • No girl, keep your options open! I've been doing it for the last couple years. Doesn't hurt to see a couple people. As long as you're safe, you're golden 👌🏻

    1|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 24

  • The plot thickens... bahahaha 😝

    No it's not bad. Go on a date with the tinder guy.

    It'll take 'some' of your time away from the current guy. And from what I read below... that's needed. See, that's part of the issue here, you're moving at different speeds you're seeing so much of each other that you're invested but the guy is still unsure.

    If the new guy is halfway decent, watch your care-o-meter return to moderate with the current guy. Current guy will sense that, and (if he IS serious) start to care more. It's a silly game, but that's the dynamic in early relationships, whoever cares less has more power.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Would you be ok if the guy you're dating lied to you telling you he wasn't dating other people, when in reality he is dating someone else who is even hotter than you?
    I mean, if you're ok with that, then I guess go ahead and date this other dude. I just don't believe strong relationships happen when you have other people in mind.

    P. S.: You said he hasn't asked you to be official yet, have you asked him to be official?

    0|1
    0|0
    • I've brought it up. He's knows I would... he's the one that still feels like he should "get to know me better". Whatever that means

    • Will you tell him you're seeing another guy, if you end up going on a date with this other dude?

  • That's a toughy. Think about how you would feel if he dated another girl. Would that hurt your feelings or devastate you? Because it could hurt this other guy. If you have feelings for him but want it to be an exclusive relationship, you can just talk to him about it. I personally wouldn't jeopardize a good relationship like that. Live in the moment, and don't think about who your next right swipe will be.

    But yeah, if you feel a strong possibility that it won't work out or won't become an exclusive relationship, then try going with the new guy, he could be your next prince charming.

    0|0
    0|0
  • To be not exclusive means that you are free to date others. So no problem. If you were exclusive, the, obviously you would be exclusive.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Give him an a choice. Either he makes it exclusive or you will just move on. Make him realise he's not the only guy out there wanting your attention.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Drop this fucken 30 year old fuck boy you've been seeing already. He is a lost cause, let his loss be your gain

    0|1
    0|0
    • Haha well he told me he takes awhile to open up... and he is opening up. I like him and I know I'd regret it if I were to completely end things.

    • Show All
    • The smart ones take their time.

      People rush into things and as a result, rush out.

      That guy is emotionally smart. Taking his time.

      See now he's her boyfriend. :)

    • @Wanderlust1994

      Some things you don't know. Time will tell if the decision was wise

  • I'm a little confused. When you say that you've told him that you don't want to see other people and he's getting too comfortable with that, what do you mean?

    Is he not satisfying you, or doing things to keep you interested and into him?

    If that's the case, go ahead and see other people. But it sounds like you actually want to be more committed with him. If that's true, I wouldn't see the other guy and I would talk to and communicate with your partner

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe it's time for an upgrade...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Reverse the situation and you'll have your answer

    0|0
    0|0
  • Only if you are open to the fact that the guy you're dating can do the same..

    0|1
    0|0
  • If u are going to to see other people u should tell him since you said u didn't want to see other people be straight and honest with people like u would like them to be to u.

    0|0
    0|0
  • By all means, date around but just don't get butt-hurt when you find out he's been fucking chick's on the side.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you're not exclusive, you're totally fine to go on a date.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you should make it exclusive.

    0|0
    0|0
  • not a bad thing to do. finally you are getting over that guy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • getting to known you better means he needs more time to get too known you as a person. you been dating for less then 2 months and you expected this guy to say he loves u already? also let him known about the 2nd guy or else u are a cheated

    0|0
    1|0
  • "I've told him I don't want to see other people"
    And if you contradict yourself, that makes you a liar.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You aren't exclusive yet, when you are exclusive to each other then yes that would be bad.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Go out with the tinder guy. All is fair until you have a title.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tinder does not seem safe at all.

    0|0
    0|0
  • you're "just dating" him.. you're not exclusive, that gives you the right to do whatever you want.. however, he may start to mistrust you... and i wouldn't date a cheater

    0|0
    0|0
  • This is exactly why it's all a big waste of time. One day this same girl will be complaining a guy just wants sex and doesn't want to get to know her. It's a wonder why any guys still bother. Bwhahahaa. The only reason why she is hesitant is because she wants the Chad and the other guy as a backup.

    Either way, they all want to have their cake and eat it in some way or another.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Most people don't physically say "we're exclusive." you just are. A lot of people consider it exclusive when they start dating. I don't know too many people that are serial daters/date more than one person at a time.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Trust me he doesn't think we're bf/gf yet. He won't even meet my parents

  • Yes, you told him you will not see other people and lied... maybe you should talk to him about being exclusive...

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 9

  • If he's clearly communicated that you're not exclusive, go for it. For some people it just happens naturally without communicating it. Make sure you guys are on the same page before going on the date

    0|0
    0|0
    • You think I should tell him?

    • You should first clarify what your status is so he doesn't misinterpret your relationship. If he clearly states that you're not yet exclusive, then yeah I'd let him know that you're planning on dating around. Just don't make it like blackmail where "if you won't make us exclusive then I'll go on a date with another man". Do it maturely.
      And whaaaat, you lost your vcard?

    • Haha I did, yes. To the guy I'm dating.

      How do I ask that tho I'm a mature way.. are we exclusively dating?

      I don't like asking those questions because I'm scared to hear the answer lol

  • Look if u have a partner and both agree to have an open relationship that is fine, but if not then don't do it you will just hurt your partners feelings. As for going on a tinder date... seriously ur boyfriend is probs better than all the dipshits on tinder. Those guys on tinder only want sex so what's the point? If u want sex walk down the street and go to pub or something there'd be desperate guys there right? Seriously before doing anything talk about this with your partner.

    0|0
    0|0
  • ask him 1st then if he says you guys not exclusive then go ahead date the tinder guy

    1|0
    0|0
  • Do whatever you want

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think you should go on the date just to see his reaction. If he still looks like he doesn't care, you know what to do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes it is. What if the guy you're dating did that?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I would be hurt, but he hasn't asked me to be exclusive yet so it's not like he couldn't do the same.

    • But he hasn't. So you should have a conversation with him first to see where things are going.

    • "he hasn't asked me to be exclusive yet so it's not like he couldn't do the same"

      He can do the same while exclusive too though

  • I am trying to understand how serious you guys are before answering this.
    How often does he takes you out on dates?
    How often (daily basis) does he initiate contacts?

    0|0
    0|0
    • We talk every day. We see each other about 6/7 days of the week but we go to the same school. We hang out around 4 times a week alone.

    • don't think you answered my question.
      "How often does he takes you out on dates?"

      i understand in school situation is different.

      I had a lot of friends in college. Have gone to their homes and met their parents. Very natural.
      ex. boyfriend in college with want me to meet his parents soon as well.

      in this case, i would vote, keep your option open.

      in a good, healthy relationship, he would not make you doubt your feelings, needs.

  • I think you should talk to him first. Ask him if he's seeing other girls or if he wants to be exclusive. From his answer, you will know what to do.

    0|0
    0|0
    • "think you should talk to him first. Ask him if he's seeing other girls"

      I agree

  • Yes, girl! You are not exclusive. mmm this is happening me now, I have been seeing a guy for 3 months and he has not asked me to be exclusive yet.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Ups, I am sorry. I wanted to vote that is NOT bad!

    • Show All
    • "mmm this is happening me now, I have been seeing a guy for 3 months and he has not asked me to be exclusive yet"

      See I feel like this is motivated by resentment rather than desire. Like I can see the scowl on your forehead.

    • Communication. Ask him Does he want to be exclusive? Be honest. Careful a picture on Tinder is not the real thing = the grass is always Greener on the other side of the phone screen.

Loading...