A guy likes me back and I'm afraid that I will mess it up because I've never been in love or been vulnerable with someone?

A guy likes me back but because I've never been in love I'm afraid that I will mess it up with this guy. Our intimacy level goes beyond the casual hookup and silly banter and I can already feel myself pulling away even though I wish I didn't. I don't like being vulnerable. I'm afraid when we get closer, that my pulling away will screw it up.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • lol I have the same feelings for this one girl. Just because you don't want to mess up with him don't mean that he doesn't feel the same way. Just tell him you love him and let him go. If he stares at you with puppy dog eyes. But doesn't say anything. that's a sign that he loves you too but doesn't want you to stop saying it. just risk it for him and find out what he feels.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I say go for it. If it's right, it's worth it. Pulling away will ruin it.
    The reason you're afraid is because you think he'll see all of you, exactly for who you are and he won't like it. If that happens, then it simply means he isn't the one and that'll be okay. A relationship can never really blossom if you hide yourself.
    If you trust him, tell how you feel. Love is fun and exciting and rewarding. It's always worth it.

    Regardless of what happens remember if it doesn't work out you will learn a lot about yourself when you allow yourself to be vulnerable. You were learn what you like and dislike in a relationship, in a guy. And it'll be a new kind of pain, but it will pass, and you will learn and grow. You can't avoid it forever. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable actually shows true strength in a way.
    If it works out, then I don't need to tell you how great it'll be. You sound like you really care for this guy. And he cares for you. Be honest and up front with everything. I hope the best for you two.
    So my advice is jump in. It's a wonderful thing.

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    • Thank you so much. This has really helped to reassure me.

    • Show All
    • @Salohcin22 usually when you tag someone, its supposed to link to the person. But its not working.

    • @Asker
      oh, right. yeah it didn't work for me either. Odd.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Your first date will always end in a flop. Just go for it, The worst thing that happens is it doesn't work out. just make sure he doesn't like you just because you've never been with someone.

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  • Yup you will screw it up if you act like that..

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    • Thats what I was thinking. I asked for advice because I really care for him and dont want to screw it up. Another user gave me really good advice and this is a chunk of what she said. She's totally right. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. No harm done because I will learn something about myself.
      "I say go for it. If it's right, it's worth it. Pulling away will ruin it.
      The reason you're afraid is because you think he'll see all of you, exactly for who you are and he won't like it. If that happens, then it simply means he isn't the one and that'll be okay. A relationship can never really blossom if you hide yourself."

    • Yup you never know if it will work till you take the next step so go for it!!

What Girls Said 2

  • Sometimes you just gotta let go and free fall. Yes, there's a chance of getting hurt, but if and when it happens it just wasn't meant to be, and you'll find your match.

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  • i have the same fear.. i always try to give little hints to let him notice i am not in love yet

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