How do you know if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship?

I'm currently in a relationship (I'm lesbian) and we've been dating for 2 months now. We are long distance by 1,117 miles. The first month was amazing and everything seemed perfect. Well, now she doesn't seem interested in me. She won't call me cute names, she won't talk dirty with me, and she hasn't told me she loved me in a week. All I get is "Ily". The last time we Skyped she called me a dumbass and continued to make me feel very stupid. This week she's rarely talked to me. She doesn't respond to my goodnight texts. When she does talk to me, she just acts childish and talks about irrelevant things such as song lyrics that are silly. I tell her I miss her and she just responds to that with "KK". Also, I used to call her mommy and that has stopped and she gets insanely mad when I call her mommy. But she won't tell me why I can't call her it. That makes me sad too. I'm wondering if it's even worth it anymore. But I've never met my baby in person so I guess I should wait? Please help me out girls and guys. Any advice or opinions help. Thank you.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell various people that are close to you and if an overwhelming amount say you need to end it and they have sound logic then you're in an abusive relationship. However, if you like it than you're merely in a relationship with a sadist.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • From what you are saying I don't think you are not experiencing emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is based on manipulating your partner to make them believe they are below you. Someone who is emotionally abused will probably end up feeling that way along with feeling like they are worthless, stupid and aren't cabable of anything bc that's what their partner tells them. The abuser shames and bullies A LOT, like not just a few cruel comments here and there but they hold onto them and WILL remind you whenever they get the chance. Everything that's bad will always be your fault according to the abuser and you will always be put down bc they will tell you that you aren't good enough. The abuser will likely also make decisions for you and be in charge bc that is a result of their intimidation skills. Sometimes they will even treat you like that in public and in the end you'll have a hard time leaving bc you feel like what they've told you is true and "you can't be byself bc you are too stupid."
    Remember that the abuse is really obvious, not subtle, it is done on purpose and is a very intense and consistent form of abuse. Do you feel this way with your partner? Either way i think they are behaving poorly and you should have a talk, then decide from there what you wanna do.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • she's not in to you whatsoever, move on sweetheart.

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What Girls Said 7

  • she would make you feel worthless and make you feel bad about things you aren't to be blamed for... but yea she sounds abusive

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  • Dating. You love her but you've met her in person?

    I think you're a troll.

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  • You don't know eachother and said I love you before 2 months of "dating". Sounds like an immature relationship and she got bored. That is very much not abuse.

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  • Emotional abuse is basically when they play with your mind.
    Honestly, you don't even know this girl. Probably the thrill of having a long distance relationship is over. You don't even know this girl in real life. Maybe just tell her how you feel to start. If that doesn't work, maybe take a break.

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  • if I am not happy

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  • You've never met her? Why would you call her mommy in the first place? She sounds like maybe she was just experimenting. She's having second thoughts about a lesbian relationship. I say move on.

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