Anxiety while dating?

I've been dating my boyfriend for five months and things have been great. I sadly live with anxiety bad enough to the point of making me sick. I sometimes have periods of "" I'm not good enough" "he's not having a fun time" when he's quiet " omg I think we are drifting apart and its my fault". its really hard for me to date with my anxiety and its starting to take a toll on my nerves. like last night was the final anxiety straw, he asked me what are my goals and when I told him, he said " wow you have a lot things you'd like to do, how about narrowing some down". I told him I'm adventurous and he said he will support me anyway. I'm sick and tired of having these swings of anxiety and upsetness. how can I help myself?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are creating all of your anxiety by your self from overthinking. You seem to have a great need to start questioning things when there is absolutely no reason to. Instead of doing that, enjoy what you have! Overthinking does no good. It only makes things seem worse and worse, especially when there is nothing to worry about to begin with. Him being quite means nothing bad. It's something we all do. It's hard to think about something and at the same time talking. His statement about how much you want to do is simple a comment he made. Saying that you might want to cut the list down probably means that he thins if he did the same thing, it would make it harder to reach his goals. Your answer was honest and he accepted it. Him telling you that he will support anything you do means that even if he disagrees, you still will have his support. This is what a person should be doing when they have a boyfriend, girlfriend or husband and wife. No couple can agree on everything, but giving your support anyway is wonderful. As far as the "I'm not good enough" thing, why don't you ask him instead of deciding for him and then getting down about what you decide. You are right about these things being your fault and that can kill an otherwise wonderful relationship. Your biggest problem are your insecurities. Work on stopping that. It really sounds like you have a wonderful guy that a lot of women only wish they could have. Let him be him, not what you feel he should be. He really sound like a keeper. Stop trying to blow it up. You will be much happier and the anxiety will be gone. Do it now before you damage your relationship. tell him about all of this and that you don't want to ruin what you have. This is when that support comes in. Ask him to help you by pointing out when you seem to be doing it. It's so much easier changing a behavior when you have help from someone you trust. Don't think about this or you will talk yourself out of it. Do it. I wish you the very best.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • you need professional consultation if these causal remarks bother you. you have self confidence issues

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well maybe just accept the anxiety and just live your life to the fullest. If you feel anxiety squeeze his hand. And be prepared when he can't take the pain he wil probably just take you aside and hug you till your calm again. I mean there's a reason why he choice you over all the other girls remember that.

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    • You are right :)

    • The first step is probably get a just talk to him out loud about it and just get it off your chest about it. The worst thing that could come of it is he hugs you and holds you close as you tell him xD.

  • Get councelling

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What Girls Said 1

  • You might not be ready for it

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    • I feel like i am, I've always had anxiety . it really sucks

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