Oke I was awfully bad at Dating, now I'm just not that good to on my way to get better. I'm now really really in the dating game since 1 and 1/2 years. Of course I had a few things going on before, but since then I'm really in the game and try to learn the game.
But how can I get really good at it?
Also what I always feel like is in my way, I was bullied a lot in the past from that one girl. And she always had to be better than me and it was kind of like a fight between us to, who is better.
She won, before her it was all going great, over night I suddenly was the loser and so overwhelmed, I couldn't defend myself , I wasn't strong enough to that time. Moreover she archived that everyone started bullying me, I was a easy target for them.
With that also I got a certain Image and guys would stop approaching me, because who wants to be with a loser, right?
My goal is to reach the imagine of a person, I would like to be, that only exist in my mind.
One thing I need to learn to get there is Dating. So yeah, I really want to learn it. But I don't know how, well oke with learning by doing and experience but that is to slow for me and I would like to hear advices.
Most Helpful Guy
First things first, in order to attract quality mates, you need to be quality yourself. This means that unless you want to be a girl who gets pumped and dumped, you are going to have to increase your SMV (sexual market value). That being said, the key thing here is not to try so hard. Trying too hard will make you come across as a needy attention seeking whore.
The next thing to mention is how to physically look better. The greatest asset a woman has (whether you like it or not) are their looks and their homemaking skills (cooking, cleaning etc). Make sure you stay physically fit and eat healthily. I cannot emphasize this enough. Being active and fit is a lifestyle thing; it should not be done for the sake of looking good to others. Furthermore, be mindful about how you dress. Too provocative and you will attract the wrong kind of man. There is nothing wrong with looking sexy but be humble with how you dress. Makeup should be moderate as well. We don't like caked up faces and although I prefer little to no makeup, a little wouldn't hurt anyone. There are plenty of YouTubers and online tutorials for this.
The next part is how you act. Assuming you aren't going to directly approach men, what you can do is learn how to flirt. A lot of men aren't so confident with approaching women so it's your job to be positive and encouraging as possible. Men like women who aren't airhead so find a hobby you are passionate about. Learn conversational skills and learn to ask questions about the guys themselves. Girls fall into the habit of talking only about themselves.
Last but not least, don't give sex away so cheaply. You will end up getting hurt in the long run if you expected a relationship out of it. Guys who show little to no effort apart from trying to get you into bed are the ones you should avoid.
Yes, it's hard work to be the best version of yourself but many women don't realise that men want to be committed to a girl of substance rather than a girl who just looks pretty. If you have any further questions you can specify below.
Good luck to you Madam!3
Most Helpful Girl
First off, you need to stop thinking of yourself as a loser and work on your self-esteem. You are not a loser. If you don't view yourself as someone worthy of anything, you will find and settle for a bunch of douche bags. Please don't do that. Personally, I have found that hooking up with random people is somewhat effective in that it helps boost confidence in the sexual department, but be careful. Don't date or be friends with benefits with people you hook up with. They are the test-runs. When you are up to it, invite a nice, sweet person over to watch some movies or something over a weekend (you can even joke about a "Netflix and Chill" arrangement). When he goes to the bathroom "accidentally" have him catch you with your shirt off (briefly) to see how he reacts and tell him that it's okay and you don't really care. If he appears uncomfortable, just continue with your plan of watching movies without any sort of funny business. If he seems comfortable with it, implement a "pants optional" policy a little later. If he's comfortable with that, you could offer to have him spend the night and you two could cuddle together and really get to know eachother. Worked well for me.1