I'm in need of some genuine advice. What is going on? Should I give him a week?

Long story short, I've been talking to this guy for about 8 months. We both live in different states. Last time I saw him was in October when I went to go visit him. I was supposed to go visit him again the last week of February. He was so excited for me to come, he wanted to pick me up from the airport and I was going to spend the weekend at his place. He even wanted to take me to his friends birthday party. But, a family emergency came up and I couldn't anymore.

I then told him that I want to come as soon as possible and I want to reschedule my flight. He then said that he still wants to see me, but he pictured me coming in the summer. I got pissed off. We got into a big fight. He said he was done, and that this was becoming too much for him. But eventually we agreed to not contact each other for a while.

I got him a present though, so I sent him it. I then texted him to see if he got it. He said he got it the previous day, which I thought was pretty shitty since he didn't text me. He then said "I don't think you have bad handwriting, lol I really like it, and the letter was so sweet to read, I haven't received a handwritten letter in over a decade."

I then texted him the next day and asked if we could talk on the phone. He said of course we can talk but he won't be home until late (he recently moved back in with his parents who he does not get along with).

Of course, we never talked like always. I then texted him the next day to see if we could talk because I wanted to know where we stand. He then said "I'm sorry, I'm in the middle of some things, I don't know when I'll be able to talk but I will let you know."

I then texted him the next day and asked him if he wants me to hate him. He then wrote that he's been in a loner phase for the past few days, and that he hasn't talked to anyone or doesn't want to talk to anyone, and that he'll talk to me when he talks to me. He just wants to be left alone now.

He is the first guy I've had sex with.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I am sorry but you are going to need to let him go. You are fighting way too hard for this and or simple communication. the long distance thing "should" be drawing you guys closer (absence draws the heart closer) I am sorry you lost your virginity to him. That is sad.
    I know you want to keep manipulating reality but that is going to need to stop sooner the better. You are being tortured by his inconsistency and pulling away hoping you'll just move on with your life. Then you torture yourself even more with your mind.
    His last text about the loner phase is telling you "STOP CONTACTING ME", a bit cowardly if you ask me.

    I feel bad for your sudden heart break that you may not even be aware of at this first read. however if dissect what you just wrote and put all the pieces together it would be clear as day. As it is to me.
    You are going to need to not contact him anymore and move on with your life. You are now officially single. Which is a gift for you. You may not realize this at the moment. But clearing wreckage that is hard to maintain in the first place is not how a true loving relationship is suppose to be like at all. After you grieve getting to a place of contentment of being single and loving it. You are now prepared for the right guy to come into your life effortlessly in all ways and mainly when you are not looking for it. Patience and being one with yourself is the fastest way for your heart to be loved but not until you love yourself first.

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  • It's over. He got what he wanted now he's done with you

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What Girls Said 1

  • He doesn't seem interested anymore

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    • That makes no sense. He was interested a week before all of this. How can someone change their mind just like that?

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