Done with crap... but what should I say to the next upcoming boyfriend?

so.. I've dated 4 guys in my life and all of them were either awkward, rude to me, or didn't understand me and that I'm an actual human being.
I'm not gonna be like those other people on here giving sob stories and sounds cheesy and feeling bad about themselves but I don't know what to tell a guy to get them to understand me.
men, what could a girl say to you that would make u understand her needs and that she's important? and ladies, how could I tell a guy that I'm not gonna get treated like trash and that if they want to date me they need to understand that I'm human too?
Thank u for anyone who gives feedback!


Most Helpful Guy

  • it depends on what exactly happen on those previous relatiobships. I know that as a guy I just wanted to show my love for an ex. However when she constantly compared me to guys, even though to me she is one of a kind, kind of made me feel like shit. We were long distance after awhile it kind of got tiresome always being compared to guys and just being depressed not being able to be with her, that it became hard to satisfy her need of communication. Anyways, she was just not honest with what she wanted from me, but she didn't think about how her choice of conversation made me feel either. Her friends, that barely know her, told her I was worthless and I didn't care about her needs, but that wasn't true. However that was what she chose to believe.. No one is perfect and no one will ever be, sometimes there is something deeper. It is not just about him understanding you, but you understanding him as well. Just need to be patient and no what you want. Don't be blunt because anyone would get scared haha, but from my perspective be honest and use your previous experience to explain why you are saying that. Just be careful, anyone can say "I'm not like that I'll be different" but by being honest at least they know you are not gonna tolerate their shit.

    • Thank u so much!! this helps alot! I've never been the type to put my problems anywhere, but people like you make it easier for me to get help, ya know what I mean?

    • no for sure I mean that is why we are here right? those who are going through shit and need advice and those who've been through shit and can help you through it.

    • thank u so so so so muchh

Most Helpful Girl

  • Part of it is learning how to pick better/nicer guys. Just remember it is NOT full proof, but few things in life are guaranteed so let's minimize risk as much as possible and if we make a mistake then it's a mistake, we'll move on. If a guy is going to treat you like trash, he's not a good guy and in those cases, it doesn't matter what you tell him, he's still going to treat you like trash.

    Awkward: Not sure what you mean by this?

    Rude to you: Look at how he treats others, waitstaff, friends, family. If he has gotten upset in front of you, see how he handles anger. Observe how he handles frustration.

    Doesn't Understand You: Allow more time for him to get to know you better?

    Actual Human Being: Don't always compromise for him while he doesn't have to ever compromise for you. He'll just start taking you for granted and that sometimes slides into the, 'doesn't treat you as an actual human being' territory. I'm not saying don't compromise, what I'm saying is when a compromise is made, ensure it's actually a compromise, it's a MUTUAL concession, and not one-sided. Also with this, look at how he treats others, if he doesn't treat friends/family/waitstaff as actual human beings, he probably won't treat his girlfriend like one either.

    • omg people here are so nice and helpful! thank u!! you know, I've never thought about observing someone and getting to know them that way, it changes a view on someone big time

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I'll tell you your problem.

    The reason you are not successful with men is the following reasons.
    1. You think guys owe you right from the start, baby!. I can tell that you have all of these demands and things where guys have to impress you all of the time and YOU KNOW WHAT. If you get used to a person they cannot keep being superman. Why do YOU be equal and think about what you offer in a relationship.
    2. Let me explain this to you and use myself as an example. I want like about women is I feel they have a softness to their personality. It's like they throw an atmosphere along with a nurturing spirit in the air. When you make a woman laugh and smile it's not the same as dudes. It's more worth it to see.
    The thing is I am what people would consider empathetic, sensitive, honest, loyal, very emotionally supportive, faithful, and willing to over-compromise to say the least.

    But none of these personality traits have ANY value to women (you). Women go for guys because they are tall. They go to a bar and go for the loudest and most obnoxious dude then they get into longterm relationships. Then they complain like YOU right here. Yet, when the opportunity of interacting with these types of guys POUR IN they say "EEEWW, he's all boring and nice" or "in your dreams".

    You have only yourself for picking guys who are dinks. You are the one who dated them and you are the one who ignored others.
    So try it again and don't choose so shallowly.

    • I've never chose shallowly in fact, I don't have all these crazy demands like other girls trust me. I just simply wanted to know how to tell a guy or anyone that I just want to be treated right and not have my heart broken all the time. and im not saying all guys do this. I'm not looking for any fairytale cause I sure as hell know this world doesn't have one. I just had a question simplest of all and I respect men that actually do care about their women and don't hurt them and scream at them. I pick someone based off of personality. just sometimes people show u what u want to see about them, not who they really are and that is what makes life so hard. so thanks for whatever advice u gave tho

    • Well, I'm sorry then. hahaha, maybe it isn't your fault.

      Either way being a woman with this problem is much better because it's not often have troubles finding guys.

      Think about where you meet guys. Some places are are more prone to dumb-ass worm-like men.
      Trust me though. There are A LOT of dudes who treat their girls' great. Lots of dudes who live their happiness level through their girlfriends'.

    • thanks, I appreciate that discussion

  • Honestly, I think guys are either considerate and sensitive to your needs or they're not. There is probably nothing you can say to an inconsiderate guy to make him change.
    That said, I think a lot of women make the mistake of not fully explaining their needs. They sort of think a guy automatically should know stuff like what kind of flowers you like best. So don't play games. . . tell your guy what you like.

    • exactly! we don't have enough people like u around I swear... some people just don't know how to handle themselves

  • Dont say anything, that will just turn off every guy you meet, use your past experiences to try and filter out the wrong guys

    • That's probably a good idea😂

What Girls Said 3

  • well I Am straight up with IT. I say IT how it is weather They like IT or not.
    I've learned soooo much and sometimes you just have to be straight up instead of beating around the bush

    • Yeah that's true

    • Show All
    • yes WE definitely do learn with each experience thrown our way.

    • yepp fr

  • If you start dating someone and they start doing things like that, tell them how you feel, if they respect you great, if not they weren't the one

  • be straightforward, don't give out "signs" or expect him to understand what's going through your head -he won't-
    communication is key 👌 but make it simple, women tend to talk too much and by the time they finish I just can't find the point of the whole conversation, I have a hard time "reading between the lines" and shit


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