Should I stick with this moral/boundary? Or should I go on a date with a guy who had been in a relationship and/or kissed someone?

I have never had a boyfriend. I'm a virgin and never kissed anyone. I have boundaries too... Anyways, when meeting/talking to guys, I have this hang up that I do not want to be with a guy who has been in a relationship or kissed someone before. I wanted to share my firsts with someone. I do not like the fact of the guy being in a serious relationship before me... I'm not like other girls... When in a relationship, I would do more of a courtship kind of... Should i stick with this moral/boundary?

  • Don't stick with that moral, go into a relationship with a guy who had already been in a relationship/kissed
    Vote A
  • Stick to that moral! If that's what you think is meant to be, stick with it and the right guy will come around. That will be special. But be friends with the other guys.
    Vote B
  • Other: Please explain!
    Vote C
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If they are the right guy then I'll look past it. But we will see
And with the standards I have no drinking, smoking, tats... i'm already limiting. Just filtering through and eill eventually pass my pluzzle piece

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Most Helpful Guy

  • OK that is a hard one. Honestly you will be hard pressed to find a guy like that. While not impossible but hard.
    I know what you mean. I have never even finished a date yet. I would like a girl that has never kissed a guy yet or been in a serious relationship either. Actually oddly that is much easier than I thought it would be strangely. Though those girls Id say have more problems. Often they are just looking for a specific guy who they imagined as the one.
    For guys I'm going to imagine a lot of the same things. He is not sure how to do stuff since your his first girlfriend. He will make noob mistakes and he will have a hard time relating and dealing with you.
    I suggest looking for a guy that you get along with and have good chemistry with then check your requirements.
    #waiting till marriage.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Do what is right for YOU. Not what everybody else thinks! This is your relationship and remember that your equally responsible for what happens if it fails. So if you say you want somebody who has 0 experience in a relationship then fine! Nothing wrong with it. These days you don't knkw who did what. Has sex with whom and what kind of sex. Especially oral sex. The amount of germs, bateria, and diseases you can contract from that alone, especially without a condom is very risky for your health. More so because your a woman, and all STDS primarily affects womem alone. While most affect both sexes.

    That is one of the main reasons why I would never do that. And would perfer what you have going on with this if I wasn't celibate. However, the more stricter the boundaries the more dofficult it would be to find the right match that fits that criteria. It's not unrealistic. Never think that it's wrong to believe in this. Morals and boundaries are essential to any safe and lovong relationship. Sadly you will come across a lot of people who don't agree with them. Wjat you need is a support system of trusted friends and family who believes in your stance. Everything has a consequence and a price to pay. But which one are you will to sacrifice? As a few guys on here have said, you can't trust everybody that claims they never did what you don't want. It's mainly so about their mentality. Because you can have a virgin with 0 romance and dating experience with a dirty, lustful mind, and a person who is experienced who isn't about sex but realized they made a mistake. People aren't perfect. Just away from the ones that peer pressure you and have conflicting views than you. Never date somebody who will settle for you because you asked. If it too much for them and they don't agree with it out of their own free will; let them go. Don't date them.

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    • Sorry lots of typos!

      What*

    • Also never date anybody because their avaliable or because they begged you.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • hmmm...
    in this case í will say you are like.. ( if you don't mind )...

    i am virgin. never had a kiss and í think the same...

    if í truly love a person then i will never see what she had done in past...
    but trusting those type of people are difficult...

    which Type of relationship you want...
    short time or long time...
    if any of these... do not stick...

    and if you want something for life time...
    then search for the best person...

    í am waiting for the right person...

    i am not saying í will not accept a person who kissed or had sex with someone..
    but í will surly... want to know the reason behind breakup and much... and í have my own ways to test those...
    and most of them fail...

    it is not important that the virgin guy will be trustworthy and all... we cannot trust anyone...

    if you thin losing virginty is a big think for you... then wait and find the right person...

    for me it matter ( personal opinion í am not saying everyone should think like me. ).
    i will lose my virginty or kiss the person...
    only if she Marry and never leave me...

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    • Thanks! I'm saving myself for marriage. How do you test someone? I will never date just to date. If I'm entering a relationship its because I think I mah marry the person.

    • Show All
    • But thanks for all advice! Yeah.. I just will be waiting for the right guy. I have no problem waiting for him :)

    • then actress? we both are in college... í am 19 and you...

      í don't think you are going to tell me which actress you are...😄.. ( sometimes something should be ways kept private ).

      you will get the right guy... don't worry...
      always have your eyes open... there are many thing and ways to judge and find a person... but sometimes it's really difficult to find who is playing and who is loving you...

  • Let's tear this apart, shall we?

    "I have boundaries too..."
    Yea, but the very fact that you said this is a strong indicator that those boundaries are pretty weak.

    "when meeting/talking to guys, I have this hang up that I do not want to be with a guy who has been in a relationship or kissed someone before. I wanted to share my firsts with someone."
    You may not WANT a guy who has been with others before, and you may WANT to share your firsts. But, realistically, is that what you NEED?

    "I'm not like other girls..."
    But I'm sure you want to be, or more specifically, you want the guys that "the other girls" typically get.

    Look, it's obvious that this relationship morality thing you have going is just a test for the guys around you that you claim not to want. Don't pretend.

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  • follow your instincts.

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  • Well you would be severely limiting your options if you were to stick to it.

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    • I may be limiting ny options but Imm just a rare and special kind of girl that I think limiting my options will actually help me find my man as I'm filtering the bunch!

    • Everyone thinks they're special.

  • I think it's fine if you want to date a virgin but it'll be hard to find a good guy who's never even kissed a girl before

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  • It's going to be difficult to find a guy that hasn't had a girlfriend above the age 18 and hasn't kissed them. I know that I didn't get my first kiss and girlfriend until I was 18. I also wanted to share a first kiss with someone with no experience, but almost all the girls I knew already had dated and kissed, etc... My girlfriend had dated 3 guys before me and it did make me feel insecure, because of my lack of experience, but I'm happy with her even though I'm the inexperienced one. I was even ashamed about telling people the truth when they would ask me if I had a girlfriend or had sex yet. I Would just lie and tell them yeah and that we broke up and they went to another school. Just go for it and don't think about it too much.

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  • make a rule in your life at the very first point of your relationships that you won't be discussing each others love and sexual lifes with each other...

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  • its up to you whatever makes you happy, just dont change what makes you. if you go out n have fun , try to keep that well preserved character but ya know loosen up a little

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  • I have a similar hang up, where I want to share the whole firsts thing as well. But I try to stay realistic, I think of it as more of a hope/bonus if I was also my first partner's first partner. I don't think of it as a rule, I got enough working against me to begin with. Look for it don't use it as a deciding factor.

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  • Have fun finding a guy that hasn't kissed someone. (Keep in mind the average age to lose virginity is 18 in England) Also, I'm fairly sure every guy drinks. Would you not date someone who has smoked once? (I. e me) Tattoos are beautiful aswell.
    Your limiting yourself a lot!

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What Girls Said 3

  • I had that standard and apparently the person I shared it with had already had their fist kiss... I had rejected so many guys because I wanted my first kiss to be special and it felt like it wasn't because he had experience and tried to make out with me

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  • You would be severely limiting yourself in the sense that you don't want someone who has kissed someone before. There are people out there that haven't but I imagine you're going to have a very tough time finding them.

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  • How old are you now?

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