We just starting dating, but I'm not too sure how I am feeling about the extra baggage?

This guy and I have been talking for maybe a month max and we met on the app Tinder. He seems like a nice guy (as they do at first) but I can't help but not know where I stand with him. After we talked for about a week, he invited me over twice to his house. The first night we just talked and had a few drinks, then a few days later when he invited be back he cooked me a wonderful dinner and we some how got on the subject of relationships to which he said we were dating. Usually I am the type of girl who rushes into things and wants a relationship with someone with out getting to know him, but with this guy it's different. I was a little upset this weekend because after we had sex, he just disappeared and I did not hear from him. Unfortunately, I thought that he had just used me at that point. When he finally texted me he said he would discuss it with me when we saw each other. Last night we went out to dinner and he explained partially why he disappeared. Apparently, his most recent ex who he was with for 2 and a half years texted him. He told me that they broke up on mutual terms and that they have been on and off during that time where they would text each other to reconcile and end up getting back together. So, I asked him if they were getting back together to which he said "well I am here with you aren't I? I think that tells you" and we were FaceTiming the other night and he mentioned being my boyfriend. I do think he's a genuine guy, but I am afraid of being the rebound especially if he is still in contact with his ex and there is that chance for them to get back together. It makes me feel that although she lives far away, I will be in competition with her and the fact that he often states how much baggage he has. This is a part of that baggage. I want to talk to him about it, but I'm not too sure how to communicate to him how I feel with out looking like a crazy person. Thank you for the help.


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  • It would definitely be a very Big Red Flag for me.

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  • Yeah he's not over her. I honestly don't think you should get invested in him

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    • I think so to. I told him last night as we discussed it that I don't keep in contact with any of my exs whether we broke up on good terms or not. I just refuse to be a rebound no matter how nice he is. He also invited me to Thanksgiving with his family to. It's like he's the one rushing to find someone to get over her.

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