People who have always been in relationships tell me not to worry. I feel they don't take my feelings seriously?

I've never been in a serious relationship. Just flings.

My friends and family tell me not to worry about it, I need to get myself settled first. But I feel like they don't understand because they have always had someone. I have always been single or someone's option. No one has ever cared about me or done anything for me just because they love me. My fam/friends just don't get it.

Am I way too worried or are they just not understanding why I'm upset?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand feeling upset, since it seems a bit unfair for someone who is always in a relationship and has never had problems with dating to tell you that it'll all be okay, how do they know, they've never had to experience this before.

    What do you want? Do you want a serious relationship right now? Are the flings due to you or him or both?

    Why are you worried? Do you worry that no one will ever love you, that maybe you won't have the relationship that your family/friends seem to all have?

    • They're due to me because I let them happen. I don't walk away from people I like, I stay and hope they change their mind. Eventually I do leave.

      Yes, I'm worried no one will love me. It's one of my biggest fears and it only increases as time goes by and I still can't figure this dating thing out. It makes me think about what I'm doing wrong and why I'm attracting the wrong people.

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    • Deep down I was hoping he would tell me he didn't want me to talk to other people. But he already knows I'm one-person-at-a-time girl so talking to other people while talking to him wouldn't be comfortable for me. The only option is to drop him, or just break away from him a little and start forgetting about him slowly.

      My sister married into a family that is very religious and they've had their problems but they're still going strong. I do see more religious couples that are positive and lasting. As for me I'm not a religious person. I believe in God and I try to live a good life where I help others where I can and just being a good human being all around, but I hate sitting in church. It makes me want to do to sleep. And I don't really connect with the sermons I hear. Not sure if I would really be a good fit for someone who was religious lol.

      I do want a house and family and a career but everything is happening so slowly.

    • Hm, in that case, I'd move on. If he knows you're not talking to anyone else, then he doesn't feel any rush or incentive to make it more serious right? I feel like when individuals are okay with the status quo then they won't make a move to change it. If you were to wait, you may be waiting for a really long time, so I think you're right, move on. There are other guys out there.

      Haha, I'm not religious either, though I've found as long as they don't try to convert me or make me to go church with them every Sunday, I'm okay with it and we broke up for other reasons not related to religion.

      I meant him, If the guy is thinking about getting a house, it usually means he's looking to settle down soon-ish. Many guys have this mental checklist, graduate college, get a good job, get a house, then get married and maybe have kids/pets.

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What Guys Said 2

  • hmm...
    why are you worried... í mean reason behind this... ?

    • I'm worried no one will love me.

    • but why... stop thinking like that...
      trust me you can get a guy...
      just wait for the right guy...

  • I'm on the same boat


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