My ex thinks she may be settling if we get back?

I'm very confused. That past 4-5 months have been wild. I was no contact for a couple of weeks and she kept phoning me so I answered... We had a nice talk, just catching up, she told me that she thinks we should go for dinner, great. So we went for dinner and talked about the idea of getting back together. We just hashed out our problems etc and what needed to change. I said so what's the actual reason you don't want to get back? And she said I don't want to feel like I'm settling. Not gonna lie, it kinda stung. But I seen were she was coming from, when we first met, I was confident, cocky, very outgoing and just all round fun to be around. Towards the end of the relationship we were unhappy, I was depressed, unemployed and just all around negative, I didn't want to go out or do anything. Now staying with me when I was like that, that would be settling. But I've completely transformed myself, I'm actually doing well at my job, I'm hitting bonus every month, im buying myself a car, I'm happy, I'm hitting the gym a few times a week. Just very upbeat about everything and I feel like I have my mojo back. She told me that she keeps basing everything on the old relationship, but she needs to realise that if we start a fresh, it has to be a clean slate. The good thing is, we aren't rushing into anything, we've decided to go on a few dates and if she feels better about everything then we'll get back together. Now... my question is, how do I proceed?


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What Girls Said 1

  • You need to move on. I mean, she even had the nerve to admit that she considers you a "settling" option, which means that she is not that into you anymore.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm in a similar boat but, I need to feel better about some things she did.

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    • Also, I'm not sure how I can't see her cause she wants to "wait till the right time" even though that was her excuse last time we dated, yes she's also my ex and my first real girlfriend also she used to be a cheater, now she isn't.

    • I'm sorry she wants me to meet her dad when its the "right time"

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