I'm 20 and have never had a girlfriend. I need mental help ?

I am a 20 year old guy who lives in Xanthi, Greece. A shitty little town in the middle of nowhere and I have never had a girlfriend, one night stand, friends with benefits and haven't even kissed a girl ! I have always been a shy person at first but with someone close to me I open up quite a lot. When I was younger like early teens (13-14) it was worse I was even more shy to the point that I couldn't even talk to my 1st crush. Through my friends I found out I was rejected and she didn't like me. Then when I was 15-16 I had my 2nd major crush and at this point I talked to this girl at school but it took me about a year to tell her my feelings. Obviously I got rejected and was told she had a boyfriend. Basically the few times I fell for a girl I got rejected and I have NEVER EVER had a girl show interest in me or ask me out or flirt with me etc. I have always been hopeful but I'm at a point where my confidence is only going to get worse worse. My past has not helped me be a confident person. The thing is I'm not even ugly. I'm actually kind of handsome (although because of me being a loser with girls I used to think I was ugly but not anymore). So I don't understand why I'm so unlucky or why I'm have to feel like this ! I have even considered psychotherapy lately because this is driving me crazy. I don't have any specific crush and I'm not in love atm with someone but I just want to experience love, a kiss, sex and the fact that this moment hasn't come for me, makes me feel inferior or less of a man or a loser because of this and I don't know what to do !


Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to relax. You're still young and have your entire life ahead of you. You will find the right girl for you soon you just need to be patient. Relationships aren't the be all and end all of life.

    • I've been patient for so long and for the past years I haven't really bothered about it and I have just forgotten about it but I can't help but feel like shit about this now.

    • Plus you probably don't understand how I feel because you've most likely never had a problem finding a boyfriend unless it's your own choice to not have one

Most Helpful Guy

  • Dear, friend
    First of all I'm greek , too... so high five ^^

    You seem to me a bit pessimistic and I personally hate pessimism. Your affirmations about your life are way too negative and that won't help you to improve it, for sure.
    I have (or had) problems like yours and I think I feel you. I don't have some really helpful advice for you. Just try to be possitive.
    Maybe I'm too young but i've learnt from my life that i'm very lucky even though i used to believed i 'm not. I'm still trying to fix my character and seeing the bright side. Also negative feelings radiate to the people around you , so they will try to avoid you. Being always happy and confident attracts other , positive people. :)

    • You have a point but being optimistic about something you have never succeeded at is very hard. You are young and I assume you won't ever be in my situation. Either way I appreciate your comment

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    • it's a little complicated , but i guess that's why google exist... Basically it's a group of people of all ages (+18), who do some kind of "activities" or "games", which help you get rid of shyness (and maturity : P)... If you are one of those who REALLY hate behaving like a child and you wouldn't like to do such things, it's probably not for you...

      If you like to give it a try, i have to inform you that there is "A" possibility to ask you about your life. Don't tell them how shitty your life was in that way to make them feel sorry about you, and be noticed. Actually it's better to never say it again, to anyone... The less information you give about the non-bright side of your life , the best is for you. Also avoid saying big lies about your life to make it seem much better...
      If you don't want to start a seminar about phsycodrama , anyway, you can still keep my last advice for later in your life...
      Have a wonderful Day/week/month...

    • I never liked doing stupid childish things when I was your age let alone now, so it's not for me ! Personally I like to be an honest and open person. I won't start loading my problems to someone I've just met however if I get closer do someone and they show interest in my life they'll get to know the real me. That way you see who really wants to help you and stay by your side. I get what you're saying and It requires a balance as it's lame to just cry about your problems to everyone however sometimes you need to let it out and when you're vulnerable is when you often connect with someone more as you realise you might face similar problems.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • No. Find some hoby or something you enjoy and go full with that and dont waste your time thinking too much about girls. Some girl will hopefully come along probably with same hoby or interest as yours.

    • Yeah I have a hobby that I love and that's football (or soccer if you're American). The problem is that you will really rarely meet a girl that loves football. You can't meet girls on a football team anyway since men and women don't play together at sports but have separate teams.

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    • Do you know any shy girl?

    • They all seem shy !

  • Show a picture of yourself?

    • ok I'll upload one soon

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    • Ahhh LoL days. When you start working it might get easier to meet women depending on the job. if you wanna make changes in your life you, you're gonna need to get out of your comfort zone. So in this case if you wanna date... Be ready to get rejected and be in awkward situations. I know it's easier said than done.

    • I know man but it's hard. Thanks anyway

  • If you surpass age 25 then you can start complaining

    • Yeah, everyone is having relationships since the age of 15 and I now feel like a loser so no I can complain now because that's how I feel. Being 20 and "kissless" is extremely rare and weird to most people

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